Verbal Fencing
Thank you Andy for putting up with Katherine. Thank you Terri for totally freaking her out.--Kim
"Illogical, irrational, self-indulgent woman!" she sputtered, pulling the pins out of her hat as she walked into the house. "I'm a widow, hmppf! Sanctimonious, sacrilegious, and completely indulgent! Oh! Oh!!"
"So it went smoothly then?"
Like a cat, she turned gracefully, slinging the poor hat to a chair like a weapon. With the pins in her fingers, she seemed to have claws. "Oh!" she cried."Only family may reprove me when I'm wrong. I know my abilities but no one else seems to understand that I am competent. I know battle although I'm not battle-tested. I am a widow. There are societal rights to that which are above your station my dear." Katherine jabbed the pins into an innocent divan which kindly did not protest with the unfair treatment and turned to her husband, eyes on fire. "Oh Ezekiel, I was the soul of understanding, the heart of forgiveness, the humility of the sinner. Ooooo, but she will get herself hurt badly one day." She growled softly. "And despite that, I find myself loving her and hoping that we'll be there to save her." She pulled off her mantle, twisting it like a matador before consigning it to the aggrieved divan, and stood still with a snort.
Ezekiel nodded. It seemed it was not in the Lord's plan for him to know any women that were not impossibly stubborn. Katherine would stubbornly refuse to let Rebecca go and Rebecca was going to stubbornly insist that she was completely in the right. "I understand, love. It is all I can do to resist the temptation to descend into pettiness in my thoughts towards Miss Spencer. But I must be better than that. And I know you can and will be as well."
"I'm glad that you see my better self, love, because I don't right now."Katherine sighed and then swept into him with a whimper. "I do not like women and their irrationalities, their emotions, their weaknesses. I do not like my own. I would go to the fencing room and pummel the dummies there, but it would be with certain faces on those poor mannequins and that would be bad." She raised her head from his shoulder. "It would, wouldn't it?" she asked with a child's hope that he would disagree and indulge her wickedness.
"It is a dangerous habit to fall into, Katherine, allowing your anger to be funneled into your swordplay. I will not stop you if you choose to do so, but I cannot give it my blessing."
Her eyes flared; she found to her horror that his words made her mind light to anger, ashis gentle tones fell soft and so irritating to her ears. She knew he was right, knew it in her heart and soul, but it wasn't what she wanted to hear. The babies inside her stirred, bothered by their mother's emotions and the guilt-driven words bubbled out of her lips, unbidden. "I don't need your blessing," she snapped and she broke from him, her hands to her mouth in horror as she stared at him. "Oh Ezekiel," she whispered, all anger draining from her as the color went from her face.
The words stung a bit, but he knew they came from anger rather than from her heart. His first response had been to respond with something petty. But he had some practice recently resisting those urges. So instead, Ezekiel just opened up his arms to his love and hoped she would understand.
She walked slowly into his open arms and began to weep. "I'm sorry. I'm just so frustrated, love. So very frustrated."
He held her tight to him quietly for a few minutes. Then he said, "If the frustration is over Miss Spencer, allow the feeling to flow out of you. She is but a temporary worry. It, like all things, will pass."
She made a small noise, snuggling deeper against him. "It's her, it's Josephine, it's Evie." She paused. "Ah Ezekiel, it's even Prissy. I'm tired of all the propriety and lack therein of, the worry that we're in far beyond our abilities and taking people who aren't ready to handle it. All the polite talk from those with manners and all the honesty from those without manners. I'm scared for Evie because she doesn't want to fight and she keeps getting hurt. Prissy finally did tell me why Neecy had withdrawn from me for a while. It was because Josephine had picked him up by the ears and tossed him into jail in London during that problem with the Queen's jewels. He was too dignified to tell me or you and Prissy was too proper to tell me until enough time had gone by that it would have been rude to confront Josephine about it. And now there is Rebecca who cannot be rebuked because it is improper and offensive and I cannot help but be more sympathetic to you. And yet that's improper too." She pulled free to walk to a window, hugging herself. "I sorry to snap at you. You didn't deserve it."
"This is the world we live in, Katherine. We must flow with the current while we attempt to affect change. Swimming upriver would only tire us out." He kissed her on her forehead. "But that means we will have to deal with manner and form and what is proper. And we should not be so proud to think we cannot learn from what has gone before us." Flexibility and faith were always fighting a battle in him.
She was stiff under his hands and lips. "It does not change the fact that I would pull out my rapier and have a quite joyful time wrecking havoc with those women for a bit. Maybe it is a bad thing that Neecy and my father indulged me too long. Bertie can get away with it because he is a man. I cannot. My hands are as bound as if chained. My sex binds me Ezekiel. I have nothing but artifice and guile if I am not behind my blade. I have little talent for that." She looked up at him. "You well know that. Long before we were married. I am incapable of negotiating these waters sir," she admitted sadly.
"I am more the salmon than the shark, Katherine. A third son from country nobility? Iam as bound as you when it comes to interactions with females. My chains may be made with different metals, but they are no less restrictive for that. "In many ways, Ezekiel was anxious for the title which his new companions seemed anxious to bestow on him. Not for the money and only partially for the power. No, becoming a Baron would give him freedom to speak and act as he felt he needed to.
"It had changed much since we leaped out my solarium and chased down Mme. Rembecki, hasn't it?" she asked ruefully. She still held herself and looked down at her swelling belly and then up into his eyes. "Do you have any regrets taking that leap?"
"No," he said firmly, confidently. "What we have was not expected but I would not trade it for anything."
Katherine bit her lower lip before yielding to the pout that overtook her. "You're being rather masterful and confident. Isn't this where you take me in your arms to comfort me as the emotional, flighty female that I am?" She looked at him from up under her lashes solemnly. "But I do suppose that I was rather rude. Shall I see you at dinner?" She felt like she had opened a gulf between them with her sharpness, but her talk with Rebecca had left her raw and unsatisfied. The kiss on her forehead, though sweet, had done nothing but make her feel more like a bad child. She gave him a faint smile, gathering to go to their room to change.
It seemed as of late, that he was destined to be confused by the women in his life. He could sense Katherine had been looking for something from him and had not gotten it. But what she sought still escaped him. "Wait, love. I have offended. Please do not leave without giving me a chance to make up for it."
She paused, biting her lip again. "No, I have offended, love. Not you," she countered softly. "Out of all the irrational women we know, it seems that I am the most irrational of all." She was still in a moment of indecision, not breathing as she stared at him, a storm of regret and emotions flowing through her eyes, and then she was against him, her arms wrapped around him tightly. "Fence with me please," she begged, her voice muffled against his chest. "I need the release love. I cannot bear it anymore. I need the release. Something, anything! Let the body release the mind. In the ride home, all madness with no answer. It is what men do, yes? Fight with the body to release the mind's frustrations? Please?"
He nodded. Katherine might be irrational upon occasions, but he loved her all the more forit. "Fencing it is then, love." Ezekiel ran a hand over her hair."I just ask you do not beat me too badly as the representative of those you are frustrated with."
She looked up into his face to protest and then giggled, finally ending with a soft sigh that sent a shudder through her. "I don't deserve you," she stated with bare and unguarded honesty.
"I'm pretty sure that is I that does not deserve you, but thankfully, we have found each other." He grabbed her by the hand. "Let us go vent your frustration as we should. Together."
"Let us see how thankful you are afterwards," she countered, twining her fingers in his. "Help me change or shall I get the maids?"
"I am always happy to help you change," he smiled, "as long as you do not mind starting our fencing match a little later. Clothes get removed so easily but I always find it so hard putting them back on."
"I might be too tired to fence if we start late," she countered with a wry smile. She brought his hand to her lips, kissing it gently. "I do believe that you are trying to tempt me with distractions and delights. How am I to worry and fret and keep my ill temper if you dangle such things in front of me?"
"I do not have any idea what you are saying," he said, his smile belying his own words. "But I will leave you to the maids, while I go to prep the fencing space."
Her gasp came with eyes wide as she planted her feet. "Bite your tongue, you deceptive scoundrel!" she cried cheerfully. "You undress me as you promised and use me like a wicked woman!" She blushed as she realized that servants might be near. Well, Neecy would get over it and the servants would get used to it or leave well paid for their silence. She raised an eyebrow, her eyes twinkling into his as she felt her sour mood break under his loving gaze."Or we can fence." She spun on her heel with a giggle and began to stride towards the stairs.
We do that all the time, he thought with a quick smile as he walked after her. Just this time, they would do it with blades. But they would always fence together. And Ezekiel wouldn’t have it any other way.
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