Warmth

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If not sparks, then a little heat, and much appreciated. LOL. Thanks, Andy!--Maer.


Saturday, 12 Aug 2010
Generator Room, Logging Camp
Late at night



The concrete was hard and cold and coupled with the wet state of my clothes, I wasn’t able to sleep. I kept shivering and waking up. After the fifth abrupt awakening, I gave up and gingerly rose to pace the room. Maybe if I got my blood pumping I could warm up enough to cease shivering.

Maybe then I can sleep.

It was dark outside and darker still inside, but somehow there was just enough light to see by. I managed to make it to the far side of the generator without stepping on crew or equipment and my nose told me where the latrine bucket waited. I steered clear of it as I paced the end of the room, swinging my arms and rubbing my hands and blowing on my fingers. The human body could withstand amazingly brutal conditions but it required some active effort. I didn’t come all the way out to the ass-end of the Verse to kick it from hypothermia due to simple rain. It was a stupid way to die and I had enough pride to fight it. So I paced and swung and tried to keep it quiet. And tried not to dwell on the what-ifs.

***

Away from where the rest of the crew had settled, Joshua sat in a corner of the generator room. His back rested against one of the walls, legs stretched out. He couldn't sleep. He ought to be sleeping. But he couldn't. He just kept running the what-ifs through his head over and over.

What if I had us drop our guns at the far end of the room instead? What if I had Read the doctor more than just to see if he was bluffing? What if I hadn't gotten down the gorram set of stairs in the first place?

So when Rina started moving around, he could hear her. Even in the dark, even minus the clanking of her usual suspects, he could recognize the sound of her tread. He had thought she was planning to use the makeshift latrine, but instead she seemed to just be pacing back and forth. He called over to her in a loud whisper, "Rina, are you okay?"

***

I heard his call and carefully made my way over. If the others were having as hard a time sleeping as I, I didn't want to add to their trouble by talking across the room. I sensed rather than saw Joshua before I stepped on him and hunkered down at his shoulder. The wall was concrete, just like the floor, but it held me up as I leaned in and said quietly, "I've been worse."

***

"Okay. Didn't mean to interrupt you." He said it quietly and with a tone that didn't suggest he was anxious to hold a conversation. He had spent the evening listening to Arden remind him of how badly he had screwed up. It was the least he deserved and now that it was done, Joshua wasn't sure he had any conversation left in him.

***

Not at all," I said, meaning it.

Unlike myself and some of the others, Joshua had taken appropriate measures against the rain and so he was blessedly dry. I could feel the heat coming off him through my coveralls and I sat as close as I dared without getting him wet. Even attenuated by the distance, it felt good. A hard shiver racked through me and I had to grit my teeth lest they chatter.

"Could stand a hot drink, though."

***

"Here," he said as he reached down and grabbed the rain jacket from where he had laid it down next to him. He handed it to her. "It's not a hot drink, but it might help." Even deep down the well of self-pity, he couldn't sulk and let Rina be cold.

***

I turned his coat to the outside to keep it dry and pulled it to my chin. The warmth I'd gained from pacing leeched into the concrete and it wasn't long before I was shivering hard.

***

It was winter time in the southern hemisphere, and while the day had been relatively warm, the rain and the cool night air made the temperature cold. Unless of course, you were the crew of the Summer's Gift, who had spent the day soaked to the bone. In that case, the temperature was freezing and it was clear to Joshua that Rina was feeling every bit of it. "Come here," he ordered quietly under his breath, and opened up his arm for her to come get warm with him.

***

"You'll get soaked," I protested but obeyed anyway.

***

Getting wet was the least of what he deserved, he thought to himself. But he kept his mouth shut and let her cuddle in. He let the quiet surround them both. Maybe he could fall asleep this way. And for a couple of minutes, his thoughts were as silent and still as the dark room. But then the what-ifs started again.

What if I had just stayed in the dropship in the first place?

He wasn't sure he was going to be able to sleep at all tonight. And I so wanted to be rested for the full day's work ahead of me, he thought sarcastically.

***

I draped his coat over both of us, hoping to trap more heat beneath. The warmth made me shiver harder. I just put up with it until everything adjusted. I tucked my face into his neck and counted his pulse, his breaths, and let the quiet surround us. When I could speak without my jaw shuddering, I whispered, "What are you thinking?"

***

"The same things I'm sure everyone else is thinking," he replied. How did I screw this up so monumentally? He felt her face up against his neck and smiled despite himself. Not all bad, he thought.

"I'm willing to bet you're thinking about ways to escape," he chuckled softly. Odds were good she was running through the room's weak points, looking for potential escape routes and tools. Good enough he would have bet on it....if he had any credits and anyone in the room was in the betting mood.

We're all in the betting mood. Betting the doctor won't kill us.

***

"You'd be right," I said softly, smiling into his neck. I fisted my hands in my armpits, wishing I could put my arms around him. I'd be warmer, true, but it was a line I felt I couldn't cross without invitation. "That loose panel looks promising, but you know what? I'm thinking of taking a different tack with all this."

***

"Oh?" He reached down with and grabbed one of her hands, spreading her fingers wide and intertwining her hand with his. He selfishly wanted some comfort tonight and holding her hand would make him feel a little better.

***

I closed my eyes as he took my hand and I sent a prayer of thanks Heavenward for the extra warmth. I kept my other hand firmly where it was, determined not to be greedy. I was warming up, if slowly, but slow would do.

"Cooperation," I said after a minute. "It might get us more than confrontation will. And seriously, without the dropship, there's no getting out of here on foot alive. The road's mined upslope and down. They're nasty. Rick triggered one and we were damned lucky we could maintain the tension on it long enough for him jump clear. No telling what other surprises lie buried there. Survivalists held this camp, Joshua, paranoid at a level that makes me look mellow. So for the woods, there's no way they'll leave their rear flank unprotected. The woods are going to be mined. Maybe set with man traps, too. That avenue's a dead end."

Joshua's body heat and his rain jacket finally worked and the last of the shivers ran their course.

"I suppose we could try for the dropship but there's too many buildings around it. Too many places to shoot us from. Tactically speaking, it's a killing box. So that's not going to happen. That leaves playing along. Hoping that they'll let us live after they got what they came for." I pulled away from his neck and looked at him, even though he was only a darker shadow against the murk. "I guess you can say you're rubbing off on me. In the old days, I wouldn't have thought it through. I would have been making trouble by now, maybe even managed to blow something up. And speaking of which ..."

I gingerly felt for his face with my free hand. I caressed his jaw and gripped it gently, gave it a tiny shake.

"I'm rubbing off on you. What were you thinking? The abseiling, the deer, the bunker. I'm not saying you were wrong, exactly, just ... it just seemed a little extreme for you. What's going on?"

***

"You're welcome to say I was wrong. You wouldn't be alone." What *had* he been thinking? He wasn't really sure. It had seemed like an adventure - exciting, thrilling, action-packed. But he could have gotten everyone killed. Heck, it was still a strong possibility.

***

“I’ll pass.” I gentled my touch and stroked his face. “I think Arden did enough of that already.”

***

"He didn't say anything that I wasn't telling myself, Rina." He put his free hand on top of the one she had on his face, just enjoying the feel of skin upon skin upon skin. "I messed up big. I'll get over it. Otherwise, I'll just be compounding my mistakes. But I think I kinda want to sulk some tonight. Feel bad for myself. Although your touch makes that hard," he admitted.

***

"So," I said, thinking back on my four brothers and their sulks. "Do you want me to go or stay?"

***

"Stay," he said quickly. "Please stay. I need you." Not just for the night, but forever, he thought. But imprisoned in the dark with their potential death looming over them was probably not the best time to have that conversation. Or then again, maybe it was.

***

The invitation I'd been hoping for given, I drew him down and kissed him.

***

As her lips touched his, he could feel a weight lift off of him, one he hadn't even realized he had been carrying. The kiss was long and it was sweet and it held a promise between the two of them. Joshua didn't want it to end, but when it did, he took a deep breath and said, "You make it hard to sulk, you know."

***

"Maybe you should pitch a tent, Achilles," I said, smiling against his lips. I pulled his jacket over our heads and it grew instantly warmer. "Kiss me again?"

***

Never one to turn down a lady, Joshua did as she asked and let the heat between the two of them burn away all those painful what-ifs about the past day's events. Tomorrow was suddenly looking to be a much better day.

***


Go back to: Timeline Season Four, April 2521 to Dec 2521

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