Forgotten Freedom:79
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Some of the pokemon army has finally returned to report to Kanatash. Most of them however are still out causing as much trouble as they can for the lords of dust. Most the the crew has gathered and the intel has been distributed. The plan is just now being finallized.
Terrek: ...and that should be it. That's the plan people. Now just pray to whatever gods you might believe in that it works.
Kanatash: :lightbulb Actually, a brand new, even better plan has just occured to me...
Terrek: We're listening.
Kanatash: (in a french accent) We shall taunt them viscously! Then taunt them again if they come back!
Crew: :uh-huh:
---
An undiscloed location
Ariajni: (reclining in a chair) I wonder what those silly pirates are up to, no doubt planning some pathetic attempt at revenge.
Kanatash: (floating out of the floor) Actually the planning stage has already been completed.
Ariajni: (not even bothering to stand) Hmph, not bad you're managed to enter my inner chambers. You do however realize that you are no match for me, do you not?
Kanatash: I am not here to battle, merely to congratulate you.
Ariajni: (raising an eyebrow) To congratulate me?
Kanatash: That's right a**-tard, to congratulate you on being the the first person in quite a while to completely **** off the entire crew of the forgotten freedom. The last guy who managed that go his *** wooped so completely that he was completely erased from the timestream.
Ariajni: Is that so? If he was completely erased from the time stream, how do you still know he existed?
Kanatash: (shrugs) I'm completely insane. Knowing things I could not possibly know come with the territory.
Ariajni: Indeed. Now, begone from my sight mad thing. (waves his hand and Kanatash is teleported to some random point in the multi-universe) Fool, you're coming has allowed me to steal from you very mind all of the "plans" you silly pirates have made. Your downfall will be that much more complete for it.
---
Back at the ship, Kanatash has just returned.
Terrek: Did it work?
Kanatash: Hook, line, and sinker. He entered my mind as soon as I arrived and stole those false plans we cooked up without even double checking to see if we were trying to trick him. Arrogant bastard.
Terra: I'm still surprised you restrained yourself when he entered you mind and didn't even try to screw with him.
Kanatash: Well if I broke him, mind you I'm not sure I could, it would have hurt the plan. Oh and who says I didn't screw with his head when he entered my mind. I was just more suble than usual. Trust me, even if we don't kill him he's still going to be scared for life from what I did. :devil:
---
Later that night as Ariajni rests...
Very young Ariajni: Daddy, what are you doing...
Satnak - Hey Lisa don't forget that sword of yours is the bound soul of suthek I would bet gold to gravy that has a nasty side effect on Raksasha. Now where is that damned dragon of mine?
Fluffy - Meow
Satnak - Ah there you are where is it?
Fluffy - Meow
Satnak - Which one of you bastards got my ride drunk?
Terra: Say, has anyone considered asking the Ghaash'kala for help?
Lisa: Would they? I mean, we have a Daemon Lord, a Rakshasa, and a Daelkyr half-blood among our ranks, just to name a few.
Terra: True, but they may know what these bastards are up to. It's got to concern them as well. Enemy of my enemy is my friend kind of thing. Besides, you and they worship the same thing.
Lisa: In different ways. I really don't know how they'd react.
Terra: It's at least worth a shot.
Chalky - We could always use some snacks. :D
Lisa - What are you ... oh dear!
Giant Horrid Wolf - VRAKAR!!!
Chalky - Gotta love having a moonspeaker for a sister. :D
Geset - Chalky stop using my wolf to scare the Paladin, and would it kill you to write home once in a while? :mad:
Chalky - I knew there was a reason I left home. :(
Geset - Grandpa has been worried sick, he's chewed right through a whole worry log. Grandma is on the warpath, she threw a mounted paladin clear through his troopers just for saying you were a lousy pirate. Host help the poor sap who speaks ill of your murals.
Chalky - Serves him right I'm an excellent pirate. And I thought she hated my murals.
Geset - She hates it when you use the council caverns for murals, or steal the last of the paper, or take out of season fruits for your dyes, or tye-dye your cousin.
Chalky - He broke my paintbrush, it took me six hours to make that.
Geset - It wouldn't haven taken as long if you hadn't used MY fur.
Chalky - You were the only one around with fur that fine.
Geset - What about the rabbits.
Chalky - Who ever heard of a white paintbrush?
Geset - It would have matched your eyes.
Chalky - You want your wolf to wake up Yellow?
(All the pertinent crew are gathered in the war room [of course they’d have a war room, duh!] to go over the final plans.)
Terrek: Ok, given what intel I’ve received from Kanatash here’s what we’ve got. True to the crew’s typical form, they’re expecting a massive frontal assault at their main enterance – here (points to map), which is exactly what they got from Kanatash’s mind when he showed up there to relay the false info. Now, I want to really make it look like that’s what we’re doing so we’re going to send every non-uber caster down there with whatever army then can summon or create or whatever. This means all the zombies and skeletons in storage and basically anything else that’s expendable. Those of you that for one reason or another can’t create or summon an army will be down there with every illusion spell you can whip up making the army look even bigger than it actually is. I’ll also be sending in my small army of wraiths.
Terrek: (con’t) I also want a few of the Ubers down there laying waste to their hordes; specifically Sa’vor, Feal-Thas, Tara and Naz'roth with your respective armies. Be prepared to get your buts out of there at a moment’s notice; (stares right at Sa’vor) you’re all too important to die. And only engage the weaker foes, we’ll need you for the final battle with Ariajni if something goes wrong. If that happens, I’ll send you all a telepathic signal to ‘port in fight and him as best we can.
Down there, we’ll line up like it’s really a war we’re about to fight, but here’s where the real battle will be fought (points to map). Now, I want someone cloaking this section of the battle field from anything; scrying, divination crap, etc. h*ll, cloak if from plain sight if you can. That’s where their generals will be placed. We’re going in with a small strike team to take down as many of the more powerful ones as we can. Don’t forget to use those soul-trapping gems I gave you. They’re essential to making sure the Rakashasa don’t keep coming back to life. Now, I’ve already sent Tony the Tiger in to infiltrate their ranks and he’ll be back there as close to whoever’s running the battle as possible to strike against them when we make our move.
While the rest of you are either in battle or assassinating the generals, a small team of us are going to go after Ariajni himself. That’ll be Terra, Lisa, Jarlot, Satnak and I. He’s so d**n arrogant that he won’t even be present at the battle, just scrying on it; that’s what we need the cloak for. Lisa, you’re going to be in your element here. I want a full frontal attack from you; use that new insane smite I gave you on him. Terra, you’re ‘porting her in and backing her up. Blast the h*ll out of him with spells and use that vine. Satnak, I want you in there doing what you do best. Flank him in melee with Lisa if possible. While he’s disoriented from being attacked from three different directions at once and he figures out his generals are all dying, I’m going to ‘port in behind him and grapple. I’m going to drain him as much as I can and set you up (looks at Jarlot). Jarlot, you take that shot. That’s the finishing blow right there. It’s your only shot at revenge and we’re setting up this whole thing to give you that one shot. You make that shot and it will kill him. I’ve made this sword special for you. (Hands Jarlot Godbreaker) It’s only got enough for one blow, but that’ll be all you need if we do this right. Try not to hit me when you kill him though. After Jarlot’s made his hit, then I’ll devour his soul and Satnak you obliterate his body; this f**ker is going to stay dead.
A few more things: This is the big one. I expect a few casualties on our side but this is a battle worth fighting. If it all goes to s**t then we mass teleport everybody out and regroup. Sa’vor, I want you specifically to stay out of direct combat. When I make my move to grapple Ariajni so Jarlot can get his shot, I’m going to need all of my power and yours. Protect yourself out there. That goes for the rest of you as well. I don’t want to see anybody else killed. For the rest of you that haven’t been specifically assigned a part, figure out where you best fit in and get with whoever’s leading that particular section of the battle on the details. If you have any other questions, come see me.
Godbreaker:
Godbreaker is a modified adamantine greatsword designed to shatter into splinters when it hits causing it to do 5d6 piercing damage. It has a +6 enhancement bonus and has the following special enchantments: flaming/icy/sonic burst, holy, keen, outsider bane and ghost touch. The sword was created of one purpose: to kill Ariajni and will be destroyed after striking him.
Naz'roth raises a gauntleted hand towards the sky, black clouds begin to form around the forgotten freedom. instantly they begin to spread outwards. the winds itself reaches a power that tears tree's from the ground. from the thunder crackles every so often, showing the high magical charges that lay within. Naz'roth let his mind reach out to Ariajni's mind.
Naz'roth: all right you jumped up little cub. if you wish to see what true power is then watch very closely. for today a Daemon lord of eons past walks the earth once more. the seas will burn, the sky will be as blood. the very ground will turn to dust. and the shattered corpses of your legions shall be the feast of the carrion. and at my feet your tourtured and twisted body will beg forgiveness from your liege lord.
Naz'roth cut off any replies and built a magical field around the forgotten freedom. it was invisible to all eyes, and couldnot be detected by any means.
Naz'roth: now for a little illusion.
Naz'roth spoke out two words in the dread language. and in the sky twelve forgotten freedoms formed each heading for different locations. on these Naz'roth faked the magical signatures of each crew member, as well as making them completely corporeal. Naz'roth then made a gesture that seemed as if he was pulling the very ground apart. and the grounds around the demon wastes did tremble. huge rents appeared in the earth itself and magma spilled up with noxious gases. from these rents Naz'roths old army appeared. the millions of Devils and Demons encased in blackarmour. the twisted undead with weapons afire in a goulish light. Naz'roth: *to himself* you may be of god born. but i am the ancheint master of this land. it obeys ME. not some young upstart. ( in his thoughts) Naz'roth: i hope that got his attention. if not then im going to have to show off a bit more....
13: Now all this is just a distraction?
Bunny: I think so.
13: Good. Nice monologue on Naz'roth's part.
Bunny: Igor must be pleased.
13: I wonder if Ariajni can really be fooled that easily.
Bunny: Depends. If he's a cliché villain, than he's overconfident. If he's not, we're all screwed.
From Behind One of the false Forgotten Freedoms, Satnaks Dragon Bursts forth to lead the charge.
Satnak - HOws that for a distraction?
No shes not with the dragon she just sent it out because its big and shiny.
Terra: Is this what you mean when you say that the world is "paused"?
Ketler: Yeah. I think the Entities are busy or something.
Lisa: What should we do while we wait?
Kanatash: Let's play Monopoly!
Terra: *a look of abject horror on her face* That is the single most evil and awful thing you have ever suggested.
Kanatash: :D
As the bizzare "pause" continues most of the crew mills around the war room.
Kanatash: (reclining in a chair, seeming lost in thought) Ah, things have been quiet around here for quite a while now. I was almost starting to worry I wouldn't get a chance to use my new toy...
Terrek: What would that be?
Kanatash: (sitting up) Hm, what was that? Oh yes, THIS.
He pulls out a vaguely gun shaped device that is covered with seemingly random protrushions, depressions, spokes, and deposites of crystal and other exotic materials.
Terrek: And what in Kyber would THAT be?
Kanatash: (chuckles) Oh, just something I cooked up in my spare time. It's constructed from a minature Mi-go cannon, other miscelaneous Mi-go devices, a chibi wand, an anti-chibi wand, one Syberies dragonshard attuned to each dragonmark (including the mark of death), one Eberron dragonshard attuned to each of the 13 planes, a whole bunch of Kyber dragonshards, a piece from a C-tan, plenty of other things I don't feel like listing, and the whole kitten-caboodle is powered by a prototype of the "madness engine" Liam is constructing that's designed to harness the power of the innate aura of mandess that surrounds me.
Terrek: Hm, I never pegged you as the artificer type.
Kanatash: Oh, I'm not. I just plane shifted in the Macgyver alt-Jarlot to assemble all the components.
Satnak: KANATASH! What did I tell you about bringing in new Alternates.
Kanatash: Calm down, when he was done I sent him to "play" with Caralot's Pokemon.
Pika-man: BUUUURRRPPP!
Satnak: Well all right then. (goes back to what she was doing)
Terrek: Out of curiosity, does this monstrosity have a name?
Kanatash: I believe Kelter coined the term, "Magnus .45 Special," and I don't have anything better at the moment.
Terrek: Big name, so what will that thing actually DO?
Kanatash: (shrugs nonchalantly as a grin spreads from ear to ear) I haven't the slightest clue, but it's sure to be impressive as all hell.
Kithle - It's a bit cliche, but i still like paper cuts of death. Brandishes Deathpaper
Deathpaper - :D
Kanatash - Would you please point that some where else.
Volrath - Not at ME!! Get it away, get it away.
Kanatash: Yeah, it is pretty cliche, but things are cliche because they get used a lot. If it gets used a lot that probably means it's effective. Either way I was bored and I needed something to do. Not to mentiom I've always been curious what simultaneous application of the Chibi and anti-chibi wands will do. :devil:
Bunny (football commentator voice): Well, over-the-top-violencefans, it appears we have a delay in the game.
13 (other football commentator voice): That's right, Bob. Apparently the Entities from Beyond Non-existance are still finilizing the details of the match.
Bunny: I don't get it, Ted. It's not like they need to wait for the referees. This is a battle, not a football game.
13: Maybe the other side hasn't been assembled yet.
Bunny: Possible, Ted, possible. Perhaps fearless-leader Ariajni has some new plans up his sleeve.
13: Well, Bob, he's 0-1 after that business with the Couatls. It's amazing that they brought him out of retirement.
Bunny: He's not known as The Vacuum Clogger for nothing. But now, a word from our sponser.
"Talking Frog Beer. 'The beer that makes you croak!'"
As they wait for final preparations, Terra and Lisa practice with their new gifts within their pocket dimension.
Lisa: *currently flaming* I don't think I'll ever get used to this...
Terra: It takes a while. I've had mine for nearly half a century, so it doesn't bug me as much anymore. It gave me the willies the first few times I used it.
Lisa: It seems the aura of fear effect doesn't effect my allies. That's good news.
Terra: Indeed. We'll be in relatively close quarters, and we'll need every edge we can get with that sword around.
Lisa: Any ideas on how to deal with it? I mean, it's not like we can take a hit from a Soul Stealer and bounce back...
Terra: I do. Check this out.
After a short pause, Terra makes a few gestures as the shadows surround her.
Terra: *Art of the Shadow Doppleganger* (OOC: I couldn't resist :D )
Several exact copies of herself appear around her, moving independantly of the original.
Lisa: Wow! That's impressive. But how will that help us?
Terra: One more thing...
The copies morph into several different forms. Two remain as Terra, but in place of the others stand exact duplicates of Lisa, Jarlot, Satnak, and Terrek.
Lisa: Polymorph?
Shadow Terrek: No, just manipulating the form.
Shadow Lisa: It's non-magical at it's heart, and the rest of the illusion gives off about as much magical energy as any of us do, so it's that much harder to detect.
Shadow Satnak: Plus, it's relatively easy to switch out the shadow double and the real one.
Terra dispels the doubles and continues.
Terra: If I can get him to pull out the sword going for the decoys, we have a better chance of walking away from this alive.
Kithle - Ok people Wards here, Get your wards. I got just about every anti-Raksasha trick i could think of bound into these, non-detection, mind-blank, magic circles, death wards, the works.
Satnak - How did you get so many so quick?
Kithle - I designed them when tony came on board, as to the labor i sub-contracted to a big guy in red who charged in cookies milk and good deeds.
Kanatash: Cookies and good deeds? What the heck did you pay him with then? Oh, and out of curiousity did anyone remember to stock up on blessed crossbow bolts?
Lady: I have something even better.
She reaches into her coat pockets, and proceeds to unload a variety of handguns. And we're not talking about black-powder neither. Semi-automatic.
Jarlot: Damn, girl, where'd you get those?
Lady: I don't come from just a few years in the future, I come from far enough that someone finally got around to making gunpowder. And because we live in a society with magical crafters and artificiers, it didn't take hundreds of years to upgrade. All the guns are Good weapons, by the way. The downside is that they are loaded with all the ammunition you get: I had to balance the numbers of weapons against the amount of shots.
Jarlot: Normally I'd consider this cheating. (sights down a revolver) But these :censored: killed Aerith, and we all know what Good's like when it's on the warpath.
Kithle - I have to not try to kill either of the Pholli brothers for a whole week :weep: you people owe me.
Kanatash: Is THAT what you had to pay big red with? I just kinda figured you gave him some of Cool Cthulhu 's "special" brownies and after that he forgot about the "good deeds" part of the arrangement.
Kanatash walks onto the deck completely corpreal. He is in a red trenchcoat, a wide-brimmed red hat, and is wearing yellow tinted sunglasses. White gloves each emblazened with a pentagram on the back cover his hands. His teeth have sharped and extended. He picks up two guns. One silver the other black. They are enormous and wiegh more than most men could wield in one hand.
Terrek: (pulls out stake) You take that crap off before I stake you so many times your masters will feel it.
Kanatash: (resumes incorperality and all the gear falls from him) :rolleye2: Some people just can't take a joke...
Redshirt 1: :uh-huh: Arrr!
Redshirt 2: :gah: ARRRR!!!
Redshirt 1: :blink: Arr. Arr arrr, arr. Arrr ar arrrr!
Redshirt 2: :shifty: Arr! Ar arrrr ar arrr arr ar.
Redshirt 1: :eek: Arrrr arrr arr arrrrr ar, ar arrrrrr ar aaarrr, ar arrr! ARRR! Arr arrrrrr aaarr; arrr ar aaaarrrrr ar arrr!
Redshirt 2: :mad: AAAARRRRR!!! Ar arrrr ar aaarrrrr. Arrr ar aaaarrrrr ar arrrr!
Redshirt 1: :weep: Arrr aaarrrrr ar aaar ar arrr...
Redshirt 2: :ahem: AAARRRR!!! Arrr ar arr, arrrrr ar arr. Arrr ar aaarr ar aaarrr, ar aarrr.
Redshirt 1: :( Arrrr. Arr ar aaar, arrr arrr ar aaarr.
Redshirt 2: :dancin: Arrr! Arrr aarrr ar aarr. Arrr ar arr, ar aaarr!
Redshirt 1: :allalone: Arrr...
Chalky - Pleeeeaaaase tell me its not speak like a pirate day :(
Geset - ARR
Horrid wolf - AAAARRRRR
Chalky - Not you too :weep:
In the open field of green grass, a single solidary shrub stood quietly in the breeze. hanging fromone of its many verdant limbs was a solidary cocoon, in which new life was beginging to emerge. A struggle for birth began as one red wing, then another emerged from the gooey depths of the hard metamorphis chamber within. A new life spread its crimson wings inthe early light of day, though storm clouds wer eon the horizon. Life was inspired, life meant something. the small butterfly new that in its very heart it wa sin a place that would for ever change the worl dit lived in, and just as it was about to sing a jubilant song of birth, and love......
... A dragon unceremoniously fell from the sky flatening the little bug under its drunken a**.
entry #1 in the battle ground series
Remember when dragons fly drunk, [COLOR=Red]butterflies die[/COLOR].
KAMIKAZE! :chicken:
Reman Weascal: So for the indefinite future all conversations in the Pirate langauge—hereafter referring to anything consisting of just the sound "arrr" in various long and short iterations—shall be converted into the Common language for ease of reader comprehension.
Redshirt2: {Oh, yeah? Well your mother liked it with billy goats!}
Redshirt1: {That's a lie! She was a pig person!}
Reman: Unless, of course, it violates pornography laws.
You may all be wondering what Ariajni has been doing in this now two day long hiatus. One would assume he would be refining his plan for battle and preparing his troops. One would assume wrong...
Ariajni: (holding a device shocking similar to what Kelter would call a "Game Boy") :evillaugh Foolish monkey-equine creature, you cannot stop my rise to power with your silly barrels. I am Ariajni, I am all powerful. I shall defeat you and make your power my own. Then none shale stand in my way and I shall rule ALL! :evillaugh Or at least I will as soon as I get past these gawd damn springs. :ahem:
Device: GAME OVER
Ariajni: (hurls the device across the room) :headexplo NOT AGAIN **** damnit! I will have my revenge "Donkey Kong" and when I do you will suffer for all of eternity!
Volrath and P/Y/R are eating a custard. After all you might as well eat something nice before putting your life on the line.
P/Y/R: Doesn't this look kind of like... well you know. Volrath: I guess so. They are both made mostly of sugar. P/Y/R: You're kidding me. Volrath: It's true. P/Y/R: Then why does it taste so salty? Volrath: The taste buds for sweet are at the tip of the tongue. Not the back of the throat. :smirk: P/Y/R: Oh :embarrass
Jarot: So this is how we're going to have our final showdown.
Ariajni: You're crew has been rather amusing throughout all this.
Jarot: Funny, I thought you'd be tormented beyond all scope of reason by this point.
Ariajni: What are you, retarded? I'm the gawd damned CATMAN!
Jarot: Say what?
Ariajni: Sorry, I think I'm going alittle crazy to be perfectly honest.
Jarot: Good, because I intend to challenge you to a contest?
Ariajni: Riddles? Arms?
Jarlot: Who can run the Module you first appeared in better!
http://www.rpgnow.com/products/WOTC/tsr9415.jpg
Ariajni: You fiend. EXCEL! HYATT!
Excel: HAIL ARIANJIIIIPALAAZZZZZZOOOO!
Jarlot: Tifa?
Tifa: Shhh I'm undercover as Excel E. Excel.
Jarlot: Then who the Hell is Hyatt?
Aerith: Hello, husband
Jarlot: What the....
Aerith: *Aerith drops over dead and bleeds from the mouth profusely*
Ariajni: I had originally intended to use my Soul Sword to collect all the Angels and Demons' souls to raise them from the dead then turn them into my nightMarish undead-angel/demon unkillable army to unleash on the world but there's been some slight problems with the formula.
Aerith: I'm back now.
Jarlot: And what's disturbing, I still find her hot.
Ariajni: May I ask how you got into my Inner Sanctum of Evil Anyway?
Jarlot: Oh, I fought my way here.
Ariajni: Isn't there like thousands of demons guarding me?
Jarlot: Yeah. However, the weakest ones are on the bottom level of your Palace of Ultimate Darkness and by attacking them first I can clear out that level before returning to town for healing from the local priest. When I come back, that level is a breeze after I've gotten sufficiently experienced. Then I move upwards and frequently return for healing until I finally am able to reach the top level. There's often magic weapons, armor, and other useful items to help me on this quest spread throughout to use to my benefit.
Ariajni: That makes no logical defense sense. Who designed this plan?
Jarlot: It's tradition.
- Back to Jarlot's training as an adventurer in Tibet*
Ras Al Ghul: What happened to your parents was not your fault...it was your fathers.
Jarlot: Well DUH.
Ras Al Ghul: Oh good, Glad you agree. Now for our next lesson....Theatricality and Deception can be a powerful ally....
Jarlot: When do I dress up like a Bat?
Ariajni: So what are the stakes to this contest between us?
Jarlot: The Forgotten Freedom and all of its crew.
Ariajni: Fascinating....do you own them that way?
Jarlot: Their contracts included their souls.
Ariajni: Purrfect.
Jarlot: Okay, that's just dumb.
Ariajni: Silence you. I have only one proviso....
Jarlot: What's that?
Ariajni: We use MY dice.
Kanatash is now floating around the war room wearing a large, metal funnel on his head filled with what appear to be oranges.
Terrek: Ugh, Kanatash? What's with the oranges?
Kanatash: They're tangellos.
Terrek: :bored: Ok, what's with the tangellos then?
Kanatash: I'm going to use them to stop the evil clown army.
Terrek: Uh-huh, is that so? An "evil clown army."
Kanatash: Yes, they want to be the dominant species in this world even if it means they have to destroy us all.
Terrek: And the "tangellos" are going to stop them how?
Kanatash: Oh, clowns hate tangellos, (whisper's confidentially) messes with their equalibrium.
Terrek: :uh-huh: Alright, Kanatash, I know you're a crazy-*** psychotic SOB but this is pushing it even for you.
Kanatash: I'm serious, really! Here I'll prove it to you, put on this red rubber nose.
Terrek looks at Kanatash sceptically for a moment but eventually complies and puts on the nose. As soon as he does the funnel on Kanatash's head sprouts a long metal tube. The tube makes a sound similar to a frozen chicken being fired from an air cannon as one of the tangellos comes shooting out of it at around Mach 2. The tangello strikes Terrek square between the eyes with enough force to cave in Terrek's skull to the point where his eyes are literally staring at each other before ricoching away. Terrek stumbles back and forth several times before tripping over his own feet and falling face first on the deck.
Kanatash: :rofl: See? I told you it messed with your equalibrium. :rofl:
Terrek: (rising, now seemingly unharmed) What the :censored: was that about!
Kanatash: (struggling to keep from cracking up) It's nothing personal, just a bit of hazing since you're the new guy around here. You should have seen you're face, oh wait you did!
Terrek: (massaging his head) And how long is this hazing going to go on?
Kanatash: Oh, until you earn my respect or I get bored with it.
Terrek: That's comforting to know. (stalk's off grumbling)
Meanwhile Kanatash examines the air around him for a moment before finally choosing a particular spot in mid air. He tears a dimensional rift and drops the tangello filled funnel through it.
---
Meanwhile on some random plane of existance...
A massive army of clowns seeths before a raised dias upon which a single clown stands next to massive clown-shaped mech. The clown on the dias is speaking.
Supreme Emporer Bozo: My minions! Our day has come! We shall destroy them all and prove ourselves the dominant species in this world! You shall sweep them aside with your water shooting flowers of doom and evil bicycle horns as I lead you from our new MechaClown-5000!
Crowd: Destroy them all! Destroy them all! Destroy them all!
Suddenly a small dimensional rift opens next to the dias and a metal funnel filled with what appear to be oranges falls through it. The crowd begins screeming in terror and cries of "tangellos" can be heard. One of the "tangellos" bounces onto the dias and comes to rest touching the side of Supreme Emporer Bozo's big red shoe. He suddenly stumbles backwards as if he has lost his equalibrium and falls onto a large red button on the Mech. As soon as he does a mechanical, female voice sounds.
Voice: Thank you for activating the MechaClown-5000's happy self-destruct system. The MechaClown-5000 will self-destruct in 5... 4... 3...
Supreme Emporer Bozo: Oh poo...
Voice: 2... 1... Thank you again for activating the MechaClown-5000's happy self-destruct system. Have a nice day.
(explosion of biblical proportions)
---
In the aftermath a pair of clowns climb over the bodies of their fallen comrades.
Clown 1: Well that plan's buggered. What do we do now?
Clown 2: I don't know. I suppose we could go back to scaring children and emotionally scarring them for life.
Clown 1: (shrugs) Good enough for me.
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