Attention Assorted Criminals... REDEEM YOURSELF!

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"Attention assorted criminals! This is Doctor Steel, speaking for the Band of Steel! Hear my words!

By now many of you have noticed that you are free of your bonds, free of the suppression field that has held you captive! Enjoy this gift, courtesy of the Band of Steel! In days to come, as you enjoy your new found freedom, remember the Band of Steel, remember the brave individuals who came and brought you your freedom! Remember us, and join us in our fight! Fight against the aliens who have enslaved earth! Fight against those who have enslaved humanity! Use your powers, your skills, your abilities to DESTROY the aliens, to DESTROY their orbiting starships, to END their reign of tyranny ONCE AND FOR ALL!

And now, a special message for those who have not received the gift of freedom from the Band of Steel. You have been left powerless because, in short, you have been very, very naughty. Because you have not, in the past, acted in a manner that made the members of the Band of Steel believe that you were comitted to our cause. Because, in truth, you have acted in a manner more befitting of a psychotic axe murdering lunatic straight out of a B movie than as a defender of humanity and a freedom fighter against our alien overlords! THINK ON THIS! Realize that you are, today, still a captive when you could have been free BECAUSE OF YOUR OWN, VILE MISDEEDS! REDEEM YOUSELVES! Prove that you are worthy to be called friends of the Band of Steel and the Band of Steel WILL COME FOR YOU! Alternately, contact Overshadow - I hear he hires second-raters.

Finally, to Gepetto - yes, I know you are on the train! Rejoice that you are far, far in the back, where Doctor Steel - the REAL Doctor Steel - cannot get to you. For Doctor Steel knows you for what you are - a despicable worm, a disgusting parasite who preys on children - CHILDREN FOR THE LOVE OF GOD! Know this day that you have been spared the wrath of Doctor Steel's vengence ONLY BY MEREST CHANCE! Cease your disgusting perversions! Cease your vile activities! And know that by all that is just and right in the world if Doctor Steel should ever encounter you then you will RUE THE DAY THAT YOU WERE BORN! And quit using my name - its copywritten!"

-- Dr. Steel

The Collected Speeches[edit]