Busted

This fell together very quickly thanks to a lot of things, not the least of which was having a willing partner in crime. LOL! Thanks, Andy!--Maer

Thursday, 22 Apr 2523
Durance class Equinox
En route to Persephone
0045 hrs, ship’s time

I hit the galley dripping from my nose and knuckles, my clothes a red mess. I flexed my fingers, touched my nose. Nothing broken. Swelling though … From experience I knew that I would heal up fast but I had to get the swelling down. I dumped a load of ice into a large mixing bowl and set it in the sink to fill with water from the tap. Blood swirled scarlet down the drain while I waited, falling from my chin and hands. I didn't bother wiping it up. When the bowl was full, I cut off the tap and thrust my hands under the ice and braced myself for the pain.

Which was considerable. Dear God, I saw stars. I locked my knees and leaned against the sink and kept my hands right where they were until they were numb. Penance for the fight, perhaps, but needful. I did the same with my nose next, using a dishcloth as a make-shift ice bag.

The ice was gone and the water in the bowl was fruit-punch red when I finally quit and rinsed everything down the drain. Thinking of punch made me think of Joshua and our wedding. Of more immediate concern was getting to our quarters without him seeing me. Not in my current state anyway. He'd be worried and I didn't want a fuss. I glanced down at my knuckles. Split. Starting to seep a little at the edges. Cleaned out by the water. Checking my nose would have to wait until I got in front of a mirror and as I made my way back to quarters, I idly wondered which way the bruising would drain. It wouldn’t be the first time I got a shiner without an eye getting hit. I sniffed cautiously. Huh. Not high enough. Maybe next time.

I opened the door on that thought and saw Joshua had beat me to our bed. He lounged there with a magazine in his hands, obviously reading and waiting for me to show.

Busted.

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"What happened to you?" He jumped up as she walked in.

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"Hey, you shoulda seen the other guy....," I quipped and closed the door.

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He knew what happened. Maybe not exactly, but when there is a huge emotional backlash from two crew members and one of them comes to him bloodied and bruised, the only question to be asked is "So what was it about?"

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"Everything. Nothing," I hedged, not certain I was ready to talk about it. I was still riding high on the adrenaline, fairly shaking from it, and I didn't trust myself to speak coherently. So I cracked that joke, hoping to deflect him. In retrospect, I realized it was a stupid move, since it only made him pay attention. Yeah, like you walking in all bloody and ripped up wouldn't make him pay attention. You're a fucking idiot, you know that? "We ... were just working something out."

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"Working something out shouldn't really involve an ass kicking." He was being a bit hypocritical, since he and Nika had occasionally dealt with things on the mat, but those didn't end bruised and bloody. "So?" He looked at her closely, a perhaps overly calm tone in his voice. "Did it all get worked out?"

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I saw again the line of her shoulders as she walked out, heard that cold finality in her voice when she asked if I were finished.

"I don't know, Joshua."

I yanked open my locker and peeled out of my bloodied clothes and pulled out a fresh change. My hands didn't appreciate the work, but I forced myself to dress for bed anyway.

---

He shook his head, "Then, no." He had felt the emotional shockwave of this fight across the ship. "I felt the two of you fighting, Rina. Something that big is going to leave scars if it didn't get settled. What the hell were the two of you fighting about?"

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Click.

"I'm sorry. I completely forgot you would have caught it."

And I should have remembered. I was, after all, the one who found Joshua curled up on the floor in agony when Brian was beating Arden to a pulp, back when we still had the Gift.

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"Tis ok. It happens. Can't have the world stopping what they feel because it might bother me."

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"I could have killed her, Joshua." I couldn't look at him. I turned away and hugged my arms hard, keeping my fists contained. "I could have crossed that line so easily. God, she made me furious. We said some pretty ugly things back there."

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"Did you kill her?"

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"No," I sighed. "Did a number on the bulkhead though." I held my hands up, my back still to him. "I'll heal. But will she? I don't know."

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"I don't know either. I have to think about what to do. I'm no Companion, and I'm certainly not Christian."

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We'd lost people over the years to death and misfortune: Jake, Rick ... Mike. Their losses were still felt, even years later. Christian still lived and breathed, but his absence was still keenly felt. Especially at times like this. I had no doubt that were he still with us, he would have seen this impasse with Nika coming and prevented it. Since he wasn't, it was left to us to repair the damage done. You can fix just about any part of this ship ... except the human ones. Why the hell did you even try? Aloud, I said, "No, you're not. And I thank God every night for it."

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"What, he was that bad in bed? I thought Companions were supposed to be pretty good..." He couldn't resist the smart ass remark. "I may not be a Companion," he continued with a more serious tone, "but I'll talk to her. Because I have to. She's my friend." Then he corrected himself. "No, she's family."

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I let the joke slide. There was no point in comparing the two in that arena. I'd made my choice. I was here with Joshua and not on Angel with Christian. And as Joshua had hoped, he'd distracted me from my mood long enough for it to loosen its grip on me. I turned around and gave him a wan smile.

"She is. I don't think she feels she is, but she is. She's ours, Joshua, whether she wants to be right now or not."

It made me think of what she'd done after the war, of how she'd run from Shyla and Harbinger out of misplaced guilt over the deaths of her father and brother-in-law, thinking she didn't deserve to have that family connection with her crew. Is that what's happening? Is she repeating the same mistake?

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"Let's not frame it in terms of possessives. What I do know is that she's nowhere near as sure of herself as she used to be. For someone who is used to being confident about where they stood, this has to be unnerving." Hell, it was unnerving for Joshua to watch from a distance.

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Knees weak, I sat on our bed and put my face in my hands.

"God, I've fucked this up."

I had. Nika might now be treading the same road I'd had over a decade ago but we were two different people. I'd confronted my obstacles with both fists swinging. Nika was made of different stuff—not necessarily weaker, just different—and her method for coping could not be the same as mine. Therefore my take on it could not produce the same result. The road to hell is paved with intentions like yours, girl. You were stupid to forget that.

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He sat down next to her and pulled her face up to his. "Maybe a little, love." No point in sugarcoating the truth with Rina. "But you haven't broken anything that can't be fixed. We love her and she loves us and love conquers all, you know."

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"Love makes people do stupid-crazy things, too," I said but didn't resist his pull. "But I wouldn't have tried so hard if I didn't love her. And I'm more sorry than I can say for dumping the mess I made in your lap, but I don't dare touch it. I'll only make it worse. Hell, I don't even know if I should find her and apologize. That's how damned lost I am. Oh, God, I'm whining." I pummeled the bedcovers with my fists in frustration and my fists made me pay for it. "Shit....." My voice broke.

Now that the fight was over, the adrenaline I'd been riding dumped right out of me, leaving me nothing to hold my sorrow at bay.

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Joshua just took her in his arms and held her tight. "We hurt the ones we love because we love them so much. There will be time for apologies later. Now shhhhhh." He pushed his own unsurety deep into himself as he comforted his wife-to-be.

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Go to Joshua's Crew Page or Rina's Crew Page
Go back to: Season Six, Aug 2522 to May 2523
Go to EPISODES or TIMELINE