Forgotten Freedom:63
Last Plot -- Plot Line Home -- Next Plot
Sa'vor wanders down the corridors of the lower deck. his head burns with the pain of seeing so far into the future. Sa'vor curses. he knew he shouldnt have. but as always he'd been adicted to the thrill of discovery and gaing knowledge. now Sa'vor had locked the images of the future away, in the deepest darkest parts of his mind where only the evilest and most dreaded magics where kept. spells that could obliterate millions, that could summon forth the tides of darkness to swollow the lands.
The Wonder spells. Called so for in ancheint times only gods could wield their holy or Fell might. but the daemon lords had stole the knowlege, now only a few carried the knowlege of the Wonders. Wonders where dangerous things to know, for they did not draw on magic. they drew on the casters life force and bore down a terrible toll after their casting. those whom used them rashly died. those whom did use them where cursed with forms that betrayed the touch of the darkest or goodest magic. what also dwelled in these dark portions of his mind, locked away from the light was the complete voclabulary of Dark speech. every word single word. for The Wonders and Dark Speech was not mere knowlege.
it was alive. they had temprements and personailities of their own. some where easy to bend to the will of the user ... while others where more difficult and tended to attempt to drain too much from the caster and leave him vunrable to attack. for apon the casters death these living portions of information would escape.
Sa'vor shuddered thinking of what could happen then always caused him to do thus. thats why a Wonder wielder had to be drained of power, have it slowly leeched away. to aviod apocolyptic explosions or the like.
Mia steps infront of Sa'vor. a look of pity and concern on her face.
Mia: Oh dear. you dont look well. your skins and scales are all white.
Sa'vor: *breaking away from his deep thinking* hmm?
Mia: you must be almost dead... i can still feel your life force though... strong as a healthy persons. how odd...
Sa'vor: *sighs* im fine. really. this is my normal form.
Mia: *gasp* you must be cursed. oh do tell how it happened.
Sa'vor: *scowls* for misusing powerful magics. now may you kindly move aside.
Mia: *sends a wave on energy* i belive you should be more polite.
Sa'vor: *scowl vanishes* you just attempted to alter my thinking, and enter my mind. who are you!
Mia: hi, im Mia. im the assistant healer.
Sa'vor: *puzzled* where have i seen you before... im sure i recognise your face.
Mia: *smile* im sure you dont.
Sa'vor: *grin* yes, i renember you. your Kalastar, you work for the angels. gathering infromation and knowlege as well as spreading good. Mia... yes we've met before. while i was plane hopping. you interrogated me and extracted information from me about this crew!
Mia: oh dear. you broke through the memory block.
Sa'vor: thats right! whats your buisness here?
Mia: Im going to spread good will about this ship. as well as convert a few of the ships members to the side of good.
Sa'vor: *puzzled* why are you telling me this?
Mia: because you wont renember anything. * large spike of magical energy*
Sa'vor: oh, hello. my name Sa'vor D'Vol.
Mia: my names Mia. oh you poor dear. let me fix that head ache. *flash of healing magic*
Sa'vor: *sighs* much better.
Mia: so, Sa'vor. whats your role on this ship?
Sa'vor: *for a split second theres a flash of doubt across his face* my jobs really to keep the time stream around the ship intact, and keep its occupents following the design for this universe. my other roles include Commanding Armies, Mental Probing and Gathering money for the Captain... through more illegal methods than that of Squishy or Tabitha.
Mia: *another pulse of magic* what are your skills and Specialities?
Sa'vor: i prefer to wield Abjuration magic and Necromancy. as well as specialising in the Art of the Warlock and Psychokinesis. I belive that in many situations, Balancing the Mind and the Arts of War can conqour anything.
Mia: I hear rumours of you and a girl called Slip? i've even heard how your whent backwards in time for three hundred years to prepare to rescure her
Sa'vor: me and Slip share quite an intimate relationship. unlike many of the more open crew members we prefer to keep to ourselves. and keep our relationship to our spare time. which at the moment is plentiful.
Mia: Really? how so?
Sa'vor : the armies run themselves now. The Captain hasnt run out of Alcohol since we gave him several infinite decanters. though Jarlot Sr. keeps the captain busy. Kanatash is so concerned with killing of Jarlot Sr. and the Alternate hippy version of him and spending time with Caralot that he doesnt cause to much trouple. Satnak is busy with her own emotional matters. Terra and Lisa are with her. the redshirts are bust with their own political Machinations. the scum are bust causing havoc somwhere over Xendric with a few of Satnaks friends. Volrath and Nalfein are trying to destroy the Demon of Fire. Naz'roth and Tara are either Training the Half-Dragon Armies or spending quality time together. oh and Silver and Crow are doing whatever beings such as them do. the crew are pretty well busying themsevels at the moment.
Mia: well. its been fun talking but i really must see to some patients. see you some other time. *smile*
Sa'vor walks off, with a strange feeling hes met Mia before...
Rixle - Do you ever get the feeling you're unloved?
Phollie - Yep
Lucky - All the time
Pardan - You get used to it
Jam - Since the captain and none of the ubers are here do you think the list still applies?
Pardan - OH HO geese, *fire ball*
Telfon - Oww What just hit me? A flying Flambe ?
Hippie Kanatash: Soooo you're like the Man aren't you?
Senior Jarlot: And you're one of those Hippie Commie Pinko Freaks eh?
Hippie Kanatash: Yo.
Senior Jarlot: I'll take that as a yes. There's only one thing to do now.
Hippie Kanatash: Become a pair of antagonistic buddy cops that track down criminals?
Senior Jarlot: You're damn right.
- Miami Vice theme plays as a Porsche pulls up beside them and they drive off into the sunset*
Jarlot Junior: I think that broke my brain.
Another Day in the Life of....
Action Figure Jarlot: Ohhhh, I am the swordiest swordmaster that has ever been seen by mankind.
Action FIgure Terra: Ooooo, you're sword is SOOOO big. I think I just needed to be shown the largest sword there was.
Action Figure Lisa: Oooo can I join in.
Action Figure Jarlot: Why yes, let's just go to my hot tub over here and....
- Ketler walks in*
Ketler: Boss I....
- Jarlot throws himself on his action figures*
Jarlot:DAMNIT! KNOCK! KNOCK BEFORE YOU ENTER A ROOM!
Ketler: Oh sorry. We've arrived at the next target.
Jarlot: Did you see anything?
Ketler: No sir, I didn't see you playing with your dolls again.
Jarlot: GOOD!
Kanatash floats through Jarlot's wall to find Jarlot hammering furiously at his door.
Jarlot: Kanatash, thank the gods you're here. What happened? Why can't I open my door? Why is the lock talking in strange language to me?
Kanatash: Squishy saw Slip.
Jarlot: So?
Kanatash: Well Slip hunted neogi and was rather famous. So when Squishy saw her he did what any responsible neogi would. He locked down the ship. Setting all lock to verbal recognition in seven different languages. All but two of those languages are impossible for elves to pronounce.
Jarlot: Why don't I know the password for my own room?
Kanatash: Squishy naturally only told those he did not consider a liablity.
Jarlot: Who all is out there?
Kanatash: Terra, Tabitha, Lisa, Caralot, Sa'vor, Satnak, Levy, Volrath, Kithle, Andrea, Norbaz, Jaela, 13, Erk, and I are allowed free range. Nalfien can come out of his room, but Squishy monitars him at all times. We are begining to like not having you guys around. We might just keep it this way.
Caralot: (from outside the room) Oh Kenny!
Kanatash: Coming darling.
Jarlot: Wait, you can't just leave me here!
Kanatash floats throught the wall leaving Jarlot to suffer, atleast a little more.
Jaela approaches Jarlot as he tries to blow open his door, with comic results.
Jarlot: Ah, Jaela, I don't suppose you could get me in—
Jaela: It will cost you a conversation. (icy stare)
Jarlot: No way!
Jaela: *shrug* Then you can just fall off the wagon.
Jarlot: What?
Jaela: Squishy locked down the ship so tightly that you can't get from here to any liquor. :devil:
Jarlot: Wha…how…that's not possible. The entire ship had to comform to the Lyrandar Fire Safety Stan—(looks critically at Jaela's expression) You did this! I don't have to take this, I'm the captain! I order you to help me get in here!
Jaela: I won't, not until you talk to me. 13 made it possible. Because he can do funny things with time he made sure the ship had doors where there were none before. And even if you could break through you'd find that you've been sober ever since you took command and do not allow any alchohol on board under penalty of death.
Jarlot: You're bluffing! Just like you let me think there was something going on between you and 13!
(Flashback to right after Kantash discovers Jaela is Batman.) Jarlot (holding Jaela's cowl): So you’re Batman?
Jaela: Yeah.
Jarlot: And this whole thing with 13?
Jaela: Every good super-hero needs a cover story. And on this ship it has to be a truly horrifying one, otherwise every über is poking into your private life.
Jarlot: And the photos?
Jaela: What, a girl can’t have a hobby?
Jarlot: (brain quickly rewinding to avoid melting) You’re Batman?
Jaela: Don’t ask me why. I talked to Igor about it and he thinks I not only inherited your blood but your inherent crazy existence.
Jarlot: You’re not my daughter.
Jaela: :mad: I am so your daughter. Why won’t you acknowledge that?
Jarlot: (pulls out a bottle of something) I don’t have to listen to this. (swig) Get out. (end of flashback)
Jaela: You hide from me in your sea of booze. Well I’m not letting you escape there until you realize that I am your daughter. All I want is to get to know my father—
Jarlot: That’s just it. You’re an alt, so your father’s an alt-me from some other universe. So you should be tracking him down.
Jaela: I’ve inherited your deep well of craziness. I have to be your Jaela.
Jarlot: But my daughter is constantly protected by Aerith from falling into what you are. (crack appears in conviction) Ho could you be her?
Jaela: I’m a time hiccup. I’m the exact same Jaela from this Eberron but separate in my own part of the time stream. Why do you think no one could read my mind to find out the truth? Because I’m slightly out of phase with everyone else. 13 can do the same thing with itself.
Michael: Hey there, foxy lady.
Terra: What's up?
Michael: Are we good for tonight?
Terra: Hmmm...before I say, there's a little something I want to let you in on.
Michael: Uh...what?
Terra: *smiles evilly* I've been messing with you half the time.
Michael: You what?! You can't be serious! They were all so real!
Terra: Of course they were. Didn't some of the things that happened seem a bit too good to be true?
Michael: I...well...uh...
Terra: *smirks* We may be flexible, but you really give us too much credit...
Michael: ...what was real and what wasn't?
Terra: It'll be easier if I sort it out for you. This may sting a little.
Michael: Not aga-*urk*
(In Michael's mind. All ()'d smilies are Michael's reaction)
Terra: Now let's see... (begins sifting through memories) This one's not ( :( ). This one's not ( :weep: ). Ooooh, I liked this one ( :D ), but it's not ( :banghead: ). This one's real ( :w00t: ), you were actually better than I expected ( :ahem: ). This one was a little over the top ( :blush: ). Still, despite it not being real, I got some good ideas from it ( :mad: ). This one's real ( :dancin: ). This one's one of my favorites ( :cheer: ), but it's not ( :censored: !). I think I freaked you out a little this time ( :embarrass )...
This continues on for a while.
(back in reality)
Michael: You're mean, you know that? Every last one of the ones I scored with you was a lie?
Terra: Yes. Just because Lisa likes it doesn't mean I have to.
Michael: And I thought I was just that good... Anyway, you still haven't answered my first question.
Terra: *nods* Lisa requested your presence. How can I say no to that face?
Michael: WOO HOO!!!
Terra: Just don't expect me to go easy on you. :schemes:
Michael: :mymy:
Jarlot: Okay, guys I've got some bad news...
Ketler: Do we ever have any GOOD news on this ship?
Jarlot: Point taken. I'm afraid we've been infected by anime.
Ketler: Again?
Jarlot: No. I don't mean catgirls, obnoxiously huge swords, and girls named Sakura. That sort of stuff is mainstream.
Ketler: It is?
- Ninja Jaela pops down, throws a giant shuriken, and then jumps back away*
Jarlot: No, I mean the most feared and evil anime of all.
Ketler: Oh GOD, Not GUY love manga!?
Jarlot: Okay, not THAT bad.
Doog: Damnit.
Jarlot: No, I mean....GIRLS anime.
Ketler: I'm at once terrified and intrigued.
Jarlot: Yeah, we should be feeling the affects of reality shifting into alignment with it soon enough.
Ketler: I can't wait. *grumbles*
[size=7]FUSHIGI YUUGI: FORGOTTEN FREEDOM EDITION[/size]
- Sakura glows with an unearthly light*
Sakura: Weird, I suddenly feel like I've become the center of the universe on this ship.
- looks down at her new attire*
Sakura: I'm also wearing a school girl's outfit for some reason.
Terra: I feel strange too.....
Sakura: How so Miss Terra?
Terra: I dunno. Like despite being a much more attractive older woman with a successful career of her own, I'm profoundly jealous of a high school girl.
Michael: Hey.
- suddenly is vaguely feminine, incredibly good looking, and looks lovingly into Sakura's eyes*
Michael: Oh despite being an anti-paladin, I'm really not so bad underneath it all and maintain my bad boy yet sensetive guy underneath feel.
Terra: I'm extraordinarily creeped out now. THIS IS ALL SAKURA'S FAULT!
- Terra claps her hands over her mouth and looks even more freaked out*
King Boranal the Third: *appears out nowhere, another vaguely feminine looking guy* Oh, I have searched everywhere for the most beautiful and adorable woman in the world. Please Sakura, be mine!
Terra: Lisa, can you believe this garbage?
Lisa: *is tearing up anime style* Oh woe, though I love Michael, how can I ever compete with the beauty and wonderful personality of Sakura!? WAAAHHHHH! I'll just pine helplessly!
Terra:Gah!
Ketler: At least in my credit I'm now good looking too, but I have to share the spotlight with those too guys. I'll probably develop a profoundly tragic past.
Terra: I have to figure out something to do about this sickening display....
Ketler: Like assemble a host of underpowered monsters to send after Sakura one at a time? Then slowly as she builds her strength ultimately futiely die in an attack?
Terra: Yes! NO! Must...resist....Shojo...cliches. Am...not...an...anime...villainess....because...I'm....older and...pretty!
BE WITH US NEXT TIME FOR WHAT HAPPENS!
YAY! Terra's the bad girl! Wait...that's not a good thing in a Shojo anime. Crap. I'll have to think of something to do about this...
Maybe a castle in a non-descript location (an EVIL lair) where she gathers her minions (EVIL minions) and attempts to take Sakura down (by using EVIL). Since cute things tend not to die, the chibi wand will be used to make her minions cute (but no less deadly), thus disabling the 'heroes' ability to kill hordes of them in one strike.
Of course, being as awesome as she is, she will ultimately be successful in her attempts when she attacks Sakura with monsters with a BARE MINIMUM of 30 CR's beyond Sakura and Company's abilities and in overwhelmingly massive numbers. She may even make an appearance herself if things turn out badly. She will, of course, NOT run away if her army is defeated as the 'heroes' will be greatly weakened and easy to take down. This will be coupled with using the anti-chibi wand liberally so that the divine intervention factor of adorable shojo's is nullified.
She will NOT monologue or freely discuss her plans with any captured enemies. Further more, if any of her enemies claim to have switched sides, she will not take their word at face value. She will also not brainwash them and use them against the 'heroes'.
Victory will further be assured by using dirty tricks and covert action to destroy any and all wise secondary characters that could teach Sakura how to use her power and/or counter Terra's. Terra will obviously be kidnapping Lisa to keep her out of harms way. Her minions will be well versed in the following:
1.) No mercy because they're cute or by any form of honor. BECAUSE WE'RE THE BAD GUYS IN AN ANIME. IT'S WHAT WE DO. 2.) No gloating until they are CONFIRMED TO BE DEAD. Meaning IN PIECES AND/OR MISSING SEVERAL CRUCIAL ORGANS (preferably both), and then ONLY if you have each piece in custody. 3.) No returning without their corpses, those blasted shojos always seem to be able to revive themselves and their companions somehow. 4.) If things go badly, CALL FOR REINFORCEMENTS. I will not be mad, and will not look disfavorably on you if you do. If you don't and survive, you will wish you hadn't. 5.) Any overly long chants by the 'heroes', ESPECIALLY Sakura, will be interrupted ASAP. Correction, make that ANY chanting. OR MONOLOGUES.
Satnak - Wow this is creepy.
Levy - Yeah, this happen often?
Satnak - Well not this specifically, but looking at my list its been mostly kidnappings, and drama recently so we're due for some sillyness.
Levy - Well good a time as any to monkey wrench it.
Satnak - Oh?
Levy - ahem... GET YOUR SORRY HIDES BACK HERE YOU TWO CLOWNS!!!
Sakura - AHhhh! What was that an Earthquake!?
Terra - IT has begun.
Telfon - How much trouble do you think we're in?
Rixle - Less if we hurry, and offer the loot as a gift.
Midshipbold 1 - What's going sir?
Rixle - It's time for Satnak's Gradutaion Ceremony and official Marking as the Breaker Prime.
Telfon - This basically makes her the queen ***** of our universe.
Midshipbold 2 - Well then we must get to work at once this loot while valuable is meaning less we need to do something with it.
Midshipbold 3 - I have an idea!!
Levy - Tables
SC commander - Squeak
Levy - Chairs
SC commander - Squeak
Levy - Plates, napkins, utensils
SC commander - Squeak
Levy - Stage
SC commander - Squeak
Levy - Mic
SC commander - Squeak
Levy - Food
SC commander - Chirrup?
Norbaz - 5 more mintues
Levy - Music?
SC commander - Rup (face paw)
Volrath: Yay another anime I get to be a part of! Terra: You've been in animes? Volrath: Yes! I already know the part I have to play in this one. I'm your little second-in-command guy. P/Y/R and I will attack with each of the monster groups you send out. At the beginning we're really a treat. Eventually though the heroes will defeat us so many times that we become nothing but comic relief. That is until one of the heriones is alone. In which case we will be able to overpower her nomatter what happens. Inevitably whatever guy is her "true love" will come to resue her. Terra: You've done this a lot haven't you. Volrath: Yes. :D
A stunningly beautiful female with obviously illogical yet totally male-attracting body features walks into Erk's Place. Roosevelt is building some tables in preparation for Brawl Night. The bar employees are going about their regular business. Many of the lesser-used crew are at the bar complaining about the anime convertion. They stop when they notice the woman.
Woman: I am the goddess Animé.
Lucky: Won't work here. Erk's Place is a neutral zone where people can relax with only minor annoying stuff happening to them.
Animé: I'm not here for cast. I already have all the clichéd people I need. I'm here to hire stage crew.
Roosevelt: Stage crew? As in people who build sets, that sort of thing?
Animé: Exactly. Things get destroyed a lot in anime, and yet there is rarely much notice of it. It all seems to get put back together so fast. And do you think that the perfect boutique just always happens to be right where it's plot-convenient? No, it requires a lot of rebuilding. And you have to make it so that it breaks spectacularly, or not life-threateningly, or that there's an oddly convenient hiding spot, or that there's more space on the inside than the outside. This ship's already got a lot of that, and I need that crew for my production.
Roosevelt stands swiftly and salutes.
Roosevelt: So long as I don't have to be cute, I work for reasonable pay.
Animé: You? Cute? :confused: You look like a seriously defored Pokémon.
Roosevelt: :w00t:
Terra: Ok. Now, you're fighting the heroes. Things are going well until one uses some awesome supermove they just pulled out of their a** for no reason, taking down most, if not all of your troops. They then collapse, leaving the rest of them helpless. What do you do?
Volrath: Run away?
- WHACK* Terra hits him with Death Paper.
Terra: WRONG!
Volrath: Uh...taunt them about never being able to win in the end and then run away?
- WHACK*
Terra: WRONG!
Volrath: Ow...ok...try to take them down, only to be called away at the last moment by some cliched plot device, sparing them from a horrific and painful death?
- WHACK*
Terra: WRONG!
(An hour later, Volrath is covered in paper cuts, and Terra is still trying to break him of the cliched villain weaknesses)
Volrath: Ummmm...kill them horribly and painfully without monologuing, grandstanding, or overly flashy moves they have time to get away from or counter?
Terra: And?
Volrath: Confirm their deaths, for ALL of them, then bring back the corpses under heavy guard. The bodies will be under the watchful eyes of our intelligent minions the whole time, and they will also be separate and out of sight from each other so that no combo-love moves can suddenly revive them. We will not be distracted by any cliched plot devices, and reinforcements will be called in regardless of how "pitiful and helpless" they are.
Terra: Good. Here's a cookie.
Volrath: YAY!!!
"Hmm.. For some reason I feel like working for some evil villainess, building giant pilotable robots and other devices to defeat my rival, Ketler! Who built a robot while drunk and keelhauled, and thusly doesn't know what half of it does. And for some reason, his supposedly faulty robot always defeats my perfect inventions by exploiting some flaw that got into them somehow, or by unleashing a new attack they figured out how to use. And then near the end of the season, I would fight them myself, and nearly beat them, but then find out that Sakura is my long-lost sister. I would then turn against the evil villainess, but she would nearly kill me, only to be defeated by Sakura." Allen says to no one in particular. "At least I have a decent enough will score to resist reality."
(Sorting the mail in the mail room.)
Igor: *sigh* I tried to teatth Terra the wayth of the villain. Giving the heroth every chanth to ethcape, be thpectacularly dramatic, feel thuperier to the heroth tho that you never thee them getting theadly thronger, all thothe good thingth. The hath her own mind, though. The only really learned "have an ethcape route".
13: Are there any rules for smart villains? You know, like "make the heroes defeating you part of your complex plan"?
Igor: No. The did lithen when I tought her how to run an evil empire in thuthe a way ath to leave itth inhabitantth only mildly fruthtrated.
13: I don't really think it's all that bad. We're talking about anime. Genre badly needs some actually interesting villains instead of all this soap-opera :censored:.
Igor: Yeth.
13: Huh? Wait, you actually agree with me?
Igor: There ith thuth a thing ath too clithéd a villain. Being a true villain ith a noble art that only cometh after many hourth thpent crafting monologueth and detailing complexth planth that have only the tinyetht flaw that thtill manageth to bring the whole enterprithe crathing down. A real villain ith ath popular ath the heroth. They are a thetht, and thothe who can't win thouldn't be heroth.
13: Hmm. :thinks: :lightbulb Maybe that's what Terra learned form you.
Igor: Hmmmmmmmmmm.
Sa'vor is perfectly camoflauged, armed with a sniper crossbow, he glances down the sight. and aims so that the bolt will land directly in the back of Terras head. he squeezes the trigger... then stops.
Sa'vor: wait... why the hell am i working for the good people?
Slip: ( appearing from the shadows next to him) because we need the money.
Sa'vor: *nods* excactly. but this doesnt seem like the kind of thing good would do does it?
Slip: how so?
Sa'vor: usualy its the "evil" side that hires assassins, whom then are defeated and learn the error of their ways at the side of good. only to disappear into the sunset and show up for the last battle or somthing at the end of the first season.
Slip: true... but lets at least complete this mission.
Sa'vor: *turns round to face her* we're evil right.
Slip: yes
Sa'vor: so, why are we assassinating the evil villaness?
Slip: because we dont whant her in charge.
Sa'vor: you know, i really think that this is a waste of time.
Slip: why?
Sa'vor: you see. the heroes think that the villain is dead. so they let their gaurd down. then in the second season. really wierd things begin to happen, and then near the end it turns out the villains really alive.
Slip: true. so your point is, why bother when she's going to come back as a plot device anyway?
Sa'vor: excatly.
Slip: because we need the money for our retirement.
Sa'vor: *smiles* i knew there was a reason.
turns back towards the podium in which Terra stands. she's continuing to rant and rave about world domination.Sa'vor takes aim and fires. the bolt whistels through the air, a gust of wind sends the bolt off course and it hits Volrath in the shoulder. Sa'vor curses, and shrinks back into the shadows to find a new position. he'd find his mark eventualy...
As Mia is going about her business on the Forgotten Freedom, she comes upon a huge sack wobbling down the corridor. It stops in front of her.
13’s voice: You Mia?
Mia: I am.
13 scrambles like a lizard out from under the bag. It leaps on top and dives into the mail. There are a few minutes of rummaging, and then a small black paw extends holding two envelopes with cellophane windows. Mia takes them.
Mia: What is SoulCharge, and why would it be sending me a letter? And what’s this other one? “You may have already won 1,000 glifars”? How do they know I’m here?
13 (from inside the bag): This isn’t the only type. Any person on this ship with any kind of communication device gets daily calls from House Sivis asking if they’d like to save money on their scrying bill. As if anyone pays for that. According to Igor they’re probably manifestations of reality-flow feeding needy fractions of being. A kind of “half-life existence parasite”. They latch onto any universe with a modicum of smart, sentient creatures and drain away all their useful brain functions and comprehension of reality. Not to mention causing annoyance, frustration, and wasted time.
Mia: Upsetting the natural order.
13: If you really think one exists. They’re more an impediment to free-creation mechanics than single-outcome results.
Mia: What?
13 sticks its head out of the bag.
13: These things mess with free will more than pre-determinism. Sort of like you.
Mia: That statement is completely ridiculous. *empathic memory alteration*
13: I know. That’s why it’s totally true.
Mia: That’s illogical. (pause) I think. Wait, I’m confused. What were you talking about?
13: The fact that you are an impediment to free will on this ship. I think that's a bad idea. These people are at their best when not being pushed around by some "higher" power.
Mia: Oh, yes. *wave of mood-altering power* I think you find that I am a charming person and that my presence here has a beneficial effect on the crew.
13: You mean in the form of a body they can be jelous about, another voice that they ignore, someone they can b*tch about? Because other than another comic plot device, this ship is rarely without whatever it needs.
Mia: :blink: What? (train-of-thought-recovery pause) Because I’m a competent healer. *why the F*** won’t you FORGET already pulse*
13: Pffst! This crew doesn’t need that. All they need is a steady supply of stupid people and unlimited quantities of alcohol. Their natural combination unimpeded brilliance and illogical idiocy will take care of the rest. You mess with that and the entire thing comes crashing down on you.
Quench appears around the far corner. He spots 13.
Quench: :love:
13: Gah! Not again! I thought the cliché was that dogs were supposed to hate mail-delivery personel.
He snatches up the bag and dashes off, pursued closely by Quench.
Mia: :twitch:
Adventures in Demon Lording Chapter one: Getting ready for the Trip.
P/Y/R walks in to the library and finds her beloved Volrath and his fire-loving sidekick Nalfein.
P/Y/R: Hey Hon, Mommy, Chibi-Balor and I are going to go to storm home, I’m just letting you know… but I can see your busy trying to save your side-kicks ass.
Volrath stands up and goes over and kiss P/Y/R, Nalfein starts to make gagging noises.
Volrath: What for good?
P/Y/R: No, don’t be silly we are just going shopping and mommy has to deal with the house of storm… she still has the dragon mark you know.
Nalfein: Can we hurry this up I’m fearing for my life here. And I’m NOT his Sidekick!
P/Y/R stares had him then her body glows and a wave of color washes over Nalfein. * [COLOR=Indigo]Blinding[/COLOR][COLOR=DarkOliveGreen] Color [/COLOR] [COLOR=MediumTurquoise]Surge[/COLOR] *
Nalfein: Gah! I’m Blind!
Volrath: You now some times I forget you are a spell caster…
P/Y/R: Just because my spell aren’t all big and flashy doesn’t mean they don’t work. So anyway, I’ll bring you some thing back.
Volrath: Ok Have a fun trip, I’ll miss you… and don’t get any sex cloths you don’t wear them that much.
- * *
Beryl: Now then, I’m Take My daughter and Chibi-Balor for a little vacation. I’m putting you in charge, and that’s why I gave you an up grade… You’ll have to do all you standard duties plus you going to be in charge of gain converts and making the Alcohol.
Chibi-Marilith: Yesss Mistresssss
Beryl: If you do that one more time… I’ll turn you ass in to a Dretch and fine some one else. In addition, I if you mess any of my plans up I’ll make your life one of endless torment; in fact, I’ll give you a ring of regeneration and let Volrath Harvest grafts from your ass! However, if you do well you get to keep this form.
Chibi-Marilith: Yes Mistress, Thank you Mistress.
- * *
Chibi-Balor: I’m ready.
P/Y/R: Me too.
Beryl: Good Then I’ll just Teleport us there.
- Bamf [Teleport sound] *
Adventures in Demon Lording part the second: Storm Home we hardly knew you… [part 1]
P/Y/R: So… this isn’t much of a city is it.
Chibi-Balor: Nope
Beryl: And that’s the reason why we tried to stay out on a ship as much as possible.
P/Y/R: So why did we come here to shop? I mean I understand that you don’t what to deal with Angels so that why we didn’t go to Sharn but…
Chibi-Balor: Don’t you remember the plan? We only said we where going shopping so no one would try to stop us from trying to drain the power from one of the things bound in Khyber…and then we go shopping.
P/Y/R: oh right sorry… so why are be here then there is no Rajah here.
Beryl: because I’m going to break ties with the house before they…
Unknown female voice: Tifa?! :love:
Beryl: They let her know I’m out of Dread Hold…
Chibi-Balor: Um Mistress who
Then a girl who looks about 15 runs up and tackle hugs Beryl and then kisses her in a manner that makes P/Y/R blush.
Beryl: Can’t breath… let go… get her djfskjfa *kissed again *
P/Y/R: Mommy who is this?
- Chibi-Balor tries to pry the girl off *
Beryl: Get Off me!
- Girl gets up and just stares at Chibi-Balor *
Chibi-Balor: Um… is there some thing wrong?
Girl: She is mine so back off!
Beryl: Acanthi will you stop it; She is my Priestess and loyal follower. And what has mother told you about do stuff like that in Public!
Acanthi: Sorry sister.
P/Y/R: Wow All I have to say is my love life is normal compared to that… and I’m dating a guy who can turn him self in to a mass of throbbing tentacles
Chibi-Balor: Did You have to use the word throbbing… :yuck:
P/Y/R: Yes :smirk: … So I have an aunt then?
Beryl: Yes she is my youngest sister… and she always looked up to me… :embarrass
Acanthi: Aunt? You slept with some one other then me… :bigeyes:
Beryl: Yes…
Acanthi: :weep: :weep: :weep:
Beryl: Oh for the love of me… :rolleyes:
Acanthi dragged Beryl and co. to her house. Were she forced them to have tea in the Hall of Family Portraits.
P/Y/R: So I have 8 other Aunts? * is currently in a head lock hug from her aunt *
Acanthi: Yes, you are so cute… But why is my niece old them me?
Beryl: Because in the realm of the Fay time runs slower so even though she is old by my reckoning she is only three and half year old… but because she lived those 3 years in that plane she is now twenty.
Acanthi: That when right over my head
Chibi-Balor: Magic…
Acanthi: Oh.
Chibi-Balor: So if you don’t mind me asking Mistress… why…
Beryl: Obsession it seems to be a family trait… Our mother became total obsessed with father when she was about five, she was 15 when she conned him in to marring her, she was Sixteen when I came along…
Acanthi: and 25 years latter I came along…
Beryl: Yes I pretty much raised her because mother was busy ferry Thannish soldiers. It seems at this time the whole family beside me converted to Flamers…
Acanthi: Jeala is cute and you shouldn’t call us flamers.
Beryl: I’ll call you guys whatever I want! Any way that’s why she is Obsessed with me and it seem to me P/Y/R. I think we should get going before any of my other sis…
Another sister: Acanthi I’m Home and I brought Myra and Tyla with me.
Acanthi: Hey Assia, guess what Tifa home to visit
Beryl: If I ever find Murphy I swear by all the powers of Chaos and Evil he will pay so much
Beryl: We are so not going back to the ship until that who mess is over...
P/Y/R: But I wanna see Bishie Volrath...
Chibi-Balor: For the love of Beryl with stop smiting me!
Other sistersI have really gotten to yet who are now wearing magcal girl clothing: NO! For the Flame! Some other total chessey battle cry!
Acanthi:Who Volrath?
P/Y/R: He's my big ball of tenetcal loven :drool: :inlove:
Every one else: :blink: :shocked: :OMG! :twitch:
Norbaz - I here your having trouble finding music for the party?
Levy - OI would you belive the Squirrels have only just set up a bardic college.
Norbaz - Yes considering their civilization is less than a month old.
Levy - That does it next time I need a party set up get an advanced society to do it.
Norbaz - Well Devon can ply pretty well, just for the love of all thats right with the world do not let him sing. The hunter kid has some decent tunes, and Marish is sometimes a bard, her class tends to get revised every time someone asks. Kithle can be just about anything so he probably could play something.
Levy - Well then lets get this party started.
Chalky - Ok who else just got a feeling of impending doom?
Crew - (Raises hands, tentacles, wings, claws, etc.)
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