Forgotten Freedom:64
Last Plot -- Plot Line Home -- Next Plot
Silver and Crow: Hello.
Levy: :eek: Where did you two come from? I didn't sense you approach.
Silver: Nowhere.
Levy: Where's nowhere?
Crow: No, seriously, we come from nowhere. Just off the middle.
Levy: :uh-huh: Is that supposed to make sense?
Crow: No.
Silver: We're here because you need music, and we can provide it.
Levy: You're Silver and Crow. Every time I ask Satnak about
you she says "They don't exist."
Silver: Exactly.
Crow: We have no existance.
Levy: :surrender Could we skip to the part where you guys sing?
Crow: :confused: Who said anything about singing?
Silver: We provide the singers.
Levy: What does that mean?
Silver and Crow: Watch.
They look over at Norbaz, who's standing near Andrea.
Suddenly he launches into a operatic ballad about his inability to come to terms with his love for her, all within
10 ft. of her, and at a volume that allows even those standing all the way at the other end of the ship to hear him.
Yet Andrea acts like she doesn't hear a thing.
Levy: :blink: :OMG! Wow! When Satnak pathed that you
guys were surreal she wasn't using a metaphor.
Crow: We can tap into underlying illogical probability and cause it to become reality.
Silver: Meaning we can do things that are obviously stupid yet incredibly amusing. :D
Levy: Could you make Satnak sing like that?
Silver: Oh, sure.
Crow: But that would be too stupid.
Silver: On our part. :rimshot:
Levy: Norbaz seems to think that
Kithle has some singing talent.
Silver and Crow: :ahem: We're going to pretend you didn't say that.
Kithle - Norbaaaaaaaaz!
Norbaz - I said play, instrument. She said sing.
Kithle - Consider yourself lucky I'm too much of a coward to make the chili otherwise
i'd just eat your brain for the secrets. Be warned I will have my vengeance, I'm warning you because i still owe
Andrea a few favors for using her wraiths to keep kanatash under control.
Norbaz - Ah the downside to being the center of a complicated series of alliances and
rivalries.
Kithle - Feh!
Norbaz: Though for future reference, the Alt Jarlot League did something to pull the
base recipe for the chille out of my head. I've been trying to recreate it for a few weeks, which is why I've been
otherwise scarce.
Kilthe: What, then what have we been using all this time.
Norbaz: Modified Murlond's spoon chilli generator has been what we've been using.
Though I imagine Satnak has held onto hers for a while now. I've been using mine to
fill the stockpile.
Kilthe: ...so you can't make the Chilli?
Marish: And he can't bring himself to ask Andrea out to
dinner.
Kilthe: When did you get here?
The catgirl shrugs.
Norbaz: She's been doing that a bit lately.
Terra: What the hell do you think you're doing?!
Abberation Artificer: What? I'm designing armor that is nigh inpenetrable except for one fatal flaw that will be
exposed through a plot device and then easily exploited by the heroes. I also have no plans to remedy the flaw once
it is discovered.
Terra: AM I THE ONLY ONE AROUND HERE WITH A SENCE OF PRIDE?!
- whacks him with Death Paper*
Terra: We are trying to win here! Incompetence is not an option!
Volrath: Why are you so upset?
Terra: I just spent the last hour ranting about world domination! I don't WANT to rule
the world! I was so into it, I ignored a clear threat to my life from Sa'vor, something
I would never do normally. And why the hell am I so jealous of someone just out of puberty?!
Volrath: As the villainess, you are working with an extreme disadvantage. All cliches
and plot devices will work against you when, by all other accounts, you should win easily. It's the girls anime
infection. It's changing the rules of reality.
Terra: The rules of reality? Hah! I bend those to my will on a daily basis. I will not
be taken down by poorly designed plot devices and obvious cliches! If they want to win, they're going to have to
work for it!
Volrath, now sporting bishi anime look, is adressing the new recruits of
"Terra's Army of Evil" (tm). Volrath: All weapons are to be used as they were intended. I don't want to see any
swords being thrown or crossbows blungeoning.All of you must also learn to aim within two weeks. Those unable to hit
a man-sized target at 60 yards will be used for target practice. Any questions? A nervous looking young man raises his hand. Volrath: Yes, you in the back. man: Is it true that Terra employs aberrations? woman (sitting beside the young man) : A better question would be, "Why are we being commanded by a child?" This gets an eruption of laughter from the recruits. Volrath gets up and walks over to the woman. With each stride he seems to grow larger,
until he can look her in the eyes. Volrath grabs onto the woman's cheeks and kisses
her in a rather violent manner. This of course causes even more laughter from the others. The woman's face, that at
first looked disgusted, changes to a look of pain and fear. She pushes Volrath away.
He stumbles backward. This causes his long stinewy tongue to rip out of her mouth. With his comes the woman' stongue
as well.It detaches with a sickening rip, and a stream of blood. The woman pulls out a repeating crossbow. She unloads five bolts into Volrath. Each
bolt explodes in a blast of silver flame on contact. The explosions rip Volrath apart,
splattering bits of him all over the room. The woman's breathin returns to normal, but only for a moment. It speeds back up as she sees the bloody slime rush
together and reform Volrath. Volrath: Good shot. :devil: Volrath rushes over and kisses her again. This time though his chin splits down the
middle (ala Blade 2). His newly formed mandibles reach up and crush down on her jaw. Tentacle erupt from the insides
of his cheeks. They rap around her head, pulling it into his mouth. The woman's arms flail wildly as her head rips
off, with a sickening snap. After a few minutes of chewing Volrath spits out shards of skull. He then licks the
last traces of brain from his bloody lips. Volrath: Hope that answered both questions. You are all excused. As soon as the words left his lips the room emptied. Volrath: Hope they learned something. :smirk:
Terra: :mymy: Nicely done. We needed some horrible violence to counterbalance all the
sweetness.
Volrath: :D Thanks.
Terra: Just don't go overboard. The more evil you are, the easier it becomes to take you
down through plot devices and desperate supermoves.
Volrath: Really?
Terra: Yeah. The more clearly evil and beyond redemption you are, the less qualms the
heroes have about taking you down. Moral quandries tend to slow them down. Try doing more character development
about how much you miss P/Y/R within earshot of the heroes. And leave out the dirty bits.
Volrath: Awwww...but that's the fun part...
Terra: If they see you, at least a little bit, as a sympathetic character, they'll be
more hesitant to kill you if they get the chance. Unexplained supermoves and hidden powers tend only to show up
against opponents whose actions scream nothing but "THIS GUY IS EVIL".
Volrath: How do you know so much about this stuff?
Terra: As part of the evil deal, I pretended to be interested in
Ketler and got him to spill the details about how this stuff works. Then I left him in
a semi-hypnotic state. He thought he was some guy named Keitaro Urashima (Love Hina. Not really shojo, but still
funny) when I left.
Death Paper - When Did I replace the chain of command? :ahem:
Levy - Well Theres the stage, lets see. Devon, gagged, on guitar. Hunter on izzat a
keyboard :uh-huh: , Kithle has the drums, Marish Is base,
and back up singer. Silver, and crow will be rotating out singers as the night progresses. Oh yeah lets stop time at
sunset shall we.
Silver - You can do that?!
Levy - I could :D , but I mean lets set the ship to stay constant relative with the
postion of the day/night devider.
Crow - Oh, phew.
Levy - AHEM
Everyone on the FF is focusing on Levy.
Levy - Well the foods ready, the music starts with Chalky and "Bad Moon Rising", don't
step on the waiters.
SC troopers and Squirrel ravegers in mini waiter's unforms, send knife-like glares at anyone who so much a smirks,
glares that promise undying vengeance upon the transgressor. The Pack master looks especialy peeved.
Caralot - Ooooh so cute
Roosevelt - I feel for the little guys.
Levy - Leave any gifts or drink orders at the desk to your left. Now party before I skin
ya alive and roll your still breathing carcasses in a salt flat.
Crow - Ok now that is going in my notebook.
Volrath: Must resist urge to spike punch Terra: Volrath I don't think there is any punch Volrath: Damn.
P/Y/R: For some reason I think I need to punish Volrath for something
Terra: Evil villainesses always have to have some kind of allies or spies that are close
to the heroes. Ones they don't suspect. Since you're the pseudo-figurehead/leader of the squirrels...
Death Paper: OOoooooooo, that IS evil. Using something as cute as us to turn on
the heroes at a crucial time.
Terra: You also make a great enforcer when it comes to the side-effects of the anime
infection that make my minions incompetent. You worked wonderfully on Volrath.
Death Paper: That was fun. Anything else?
Terra: You also seem to be immune to the effects of this anime crap. The chibi wand may
have affected you, but so far I don't see anything bad with this one. That's why I'm hoping next time I start
monologuing for no reason, or divulging my plans to the heroes, or anything else stupid that I wouldn't normally do,
that you'll snap me out of it.
Death Paper: By what means?
Terra: If I'm holding you at the time, a good, swift smack to the side of my head should
do the trick. Or a whack to the shin if you're on the ground.
Death Paper: Does this mean I'm your anti-cliche device?
Terra: Pretty much. Quite a lofty position considering the situation.
Death Paper: :D
Volrath: I get to bring the elephant. Terra: The entity from non-existance means a western wedding. Volrath: Okay then what color dress are you wearing? White is absolutely out of the
question. :D
- slap*
Volrath: That hurt. :(
"Hmm.. So are they both going to be wearing wedding dresses, or is one of them going to wear a tuxedo?" Allen
asks. "Just a thought that popped up in my mind. I'm now going to go off to betray
Beryl and join the good guys, thus sealing my death. Wait... I'm already dead. Never
mind then."
Beryl: You mean Terra, The only thing I have to do with with
this silly shojo arc is the fact that it seems all of my sister have become Magical girls... :evillaugh
Terra: Kanatash, though I appreciate the thought, I really want the guests to remain as
sane as they were when they arrived.
Kanatash: But that's no fun at all.
Terra: *skimming the contents* This isn't even a book related to matrimony!
Kanatash: :devil: No. No it isn't. :evillaugh
Caralot: Hey, Terra, I've got a lot of books realting
to matri—
Silver: No.
Caralot: But isn't matrimony just a prelude to—
Silver: They aren't even religious!
Caralot: In some cultures it's considered re—
Silver: —ally. Creepy.
Caralot: But they're perfect for this form of mat—
Silver: *b*tch slap* Bad mad scientist! Bad!
Volrath: Wait does this mean we have to give wedding presents? chibi-Nalfien: I guess so. Volrath: :rofl: That flower-girl outfit you have is hilarious! chibi-Nalfien: :embarrass *runs away* Volrath: Where is that Shoggoth "love" ointment? That would be a perfect wedding
present, well provided they survive.
Jarlot: *reading an adult magazine with elves on the cover* Oooooo yes.
Michael: Well Terras finally going to pop the question.
The better evil won.
- cries like a baby*
Jarlot: Oooooooo.
Michael: Where is your hand?
Jarlot: I'm sorry are you assuming I'm going to start paying attention to you?
Michael: I must do something horribly evil to disrupt the wedding only to be killed in
some elaborate Disney-villain like fashion.
Jarlot: Or you could congradulate the two for their happiness.
Michael: I'll never know why I lost. I mean I did everything right. I presented her
with the hearts torn out of the chests of enemies, I stabbed all the stupid people who tried to talk to her, I
burned alive entire villages of Dwarves....
Jarlot: She have something against Dwarves?
Michael: Well no, but I figure that we could make a day of slaughtering them. I
remember how we first met.
Jarlot: You're going to rip off 8-bit theatre quotes with Black Mage and White Mage aren't you?
Michael: Well in addition to being a Blackguard, I've also studied necromancy under
Jarlot: You have?
Michael: Yes, I needed training in how to please women....sex in pentagrams seems to
be a part of what Andrea likes.
Jarlot: You don't seem to get much in the way of monogamy.
Michael: Mono what now?
Jarlot: Okay. Well in any case, you'll bounce back. You're a man's man.
Michael: Yeah.
Alt-Michael: Oooooo isn't this juss LOVELY? I can't wait to redecorate this in frilly
lace for the wedding! *waves limp wristedly*
Michael: :blink:
Jarlot: Oh yeah, I invited him to design for the wedding. I feel obligated to to point out that his being a raging
queen has nothing to do with his preference in sexuality but merely because he's an interior decorator.
Alt-Michael: I have a vision for this ship....pastels.
Doogl: We may make it two weddings!
Michael: Oh...my...God.
- faints*
Sa'vor Paces, Slips Busy in Sharn on an Assassination Job to earn money for their
retirement. though that was in the far future they'd decided that it would do to have a large nestegg for after the
whole Kithle Empire thing. though Sa'vor had decided he'd
probably just give Kithle the armies and let him do as he wants, they ran themselves
these days.
- in Sa'vors mind*
Sa'vor: is this what i've been reduced to? from a feared warrior and spell caster to a
security gaurd! HA! this was only because there where no real threats to the crew at the moment.
The Dark: doesnt it burn? the fact your quickly becoming ... a Lesser used crew member. the new people dont need you
anymore. hell, the only reason you arnt on the lower decks is because no one dares to oust you yet.
Sa'vor: *sigh* still alive are you?
The Dark: *nursing several horrible cuts* yes, the Daemon couldnt kill me for long.
Sa'vor: shame * Draws a Hand Crossbow, and shoots The Dark in the Head* perhaps you'll
stay dead this time.
The Paladin: ( a version of Sa'vor wearing all white) well is say! what wasnt polite. i
mean the fellow was a dreadful bore and everything but there was no need to kill him outright.
Sa'vor: *turns round* Look, if i want to kill someone i will.
The Paladin: just because your upset about just being a safegaurd for the crew.
Sa'vor: true.
The Dark: *getting up* Oh great. you let this idiot in.
Sa'vor: *anger rising in his voice* if you two begin to bicker again i'll delete your
personailties permently. the only reason your still alive is because i need some company.
The Dark: so sad. to be so intimate with someone but all in all, your alone. theres no one like you in the universe.
no one whom understands the burden of the knowlege of the future.
The Paladin: but, thats how its ment to be Sa'vor. You have to find the strenght to bear
this burden within yourself. its there. i know you can find the strength. she helps doesnt she, she takes away the
pain, she takes away the sorrow.
Sa'vor: your both right. but how can you not? your both different perspectives and parts
of me. though you are not jaded by the foolish thoughts that i must put upwith. for even if i live forever i am
still mortal.
The Dark: we all have our faults.
The Paladin: but it is turning these faults into strenghts that makes you different. you have to overcome your
weaknesses. though you shun the path of light you still walk it in a different maner.
Sa'vor: you know... this is probably the cause of my insanity. talking to myself in my
own head.
The Paladin: your not insane... your just a Sadistic megalomaniac whom enjoys to wield the powers of the elements in
a destructive fury.
The Dark: your unbalanced Sa'vor. and you know it.
Sa'vor: well. *glances around him at the abyss of memories and mental pathways* either
way. im still talking to myself.
The Paladin: we are you.
The Dark: yet at the same time we arnt
Sa'vor: *sighs* well. i might as well spend some time on Shavarath. i need a few days of
fighting and slaughter to clear my head.
The Paladin: ah yes. the removal of those foulest creatures known as demons.
The Dark: ah, the sweet taste of blood in the air. the aroma of burnt flesh. the slaughter.
Sa'vor: well. lets be off.
Sa'vor opens a gateway and steps through. it closes behind him, leaving only the silence
of an empty room.
Volrath: Wow a bachelor party. Yum, I can almost taste the insane acts about to be
commited. Two women's last night of freedom, ooooooooo... I will be able to pay a year's worth of service to Ted in
just one night. Sweet lover of the daughter* this will be fun.
- for those of you that don't know "lover of the daughter" is a very vile form of curse in the church of Ted. It is
only used it the most disturbing of situations.
Levy - Open mic begins now. : Personally I wasn't surprised when
Satnak made Breaker Prime. She was a viscious little kid, with no qualms about ripping
someone's head off. She was so cute. I always thought she'd train as a berserker though, guess she prefers to keep
her head level. I knew you as a girl Satnak, you became a woman behind my back when you
faced your sister, but at least I get to see you become a Champion.
In between wedding preparations Terra is marshalling her anime army with
Volrath when one of her troops stops mid-stride. His face looks oddly pained as his
eyes suddenly bend to face each other as his face caves in. The process continues until his entire body is turned
inside out and sucked into a minute black sphere. This sphere then suddenly explodes, showering the entire room in
gore. As the dust clears Kanatash is left standing in its wake.
Terra: Was that really necessary?
Kanatash: (shrugs) I like to make an entrance.
Terra: So why are you here then? Come to join my army?
Kanatash: No, actually I planned to recruit YOU.
Terra: Hold you horses there. I'm open to a partner but there isn't room on this ship
for TWO evil anime organizations.
Volrath: Besides, you can't be a primary villain. You're not an older attractive
female. (swift whack from Death Paper) OUCH! That hurt!
Kanatash: I'm not setting up an evil organization, I'm recruiting both of you to help me get rid of my hippie
alternate once and for all. Since both of you were responsible for letting the little SOB out I thought it would be
appropriate if both of you help get rid of him.
Volrath: About that, I was wondering Uncle, why haven't you been able to kill him
normally since Aerith stopped being a goddess?
Kanatash: The ***** decided I needed to suffer from some divine retribution so she maintained the divine providence
around Hippie Kanatash as long as he stays high.
Volrath: But... I always thought you and Aerith got
along reasonably well, at least before the kitten incident.
Kanatash: Nah, she always hated me.
Volrath: But then how did the photos come about?
Kanatash: Oh THAT, well lets just say Aerith might not like me but every now and then
she lets Brianna have her fun. :devil:
Terra: I still don't see any good reason why I should help you in this. I have lots of
other things going on right now.
Kanatash: Because if that :censored: hippie isn't stopped soon he's going to bring down your entire drug empire.
Terra: (sceptical) Why on Eberron would he bring us down? He's a hippie, they're our
primary clients!
Kanatash: He's not going to dismantle your empire, he's just going to run it dry. Your lab is now contains the only
supply of drugs left on board and that's his next target.
Terra: That's preposterous, there's no way he could get in my lab. I have it warded
against everything in existence. Even you couldn't penetrate it.
Kanatash: That's what Cool Cthulhu thought too but he's been cleaned out.
Terra: WHAT! But I just dropped a metric ton of my best stuff off with him this morning
for testing!
Kanatash: And it was gone before Cool Cthulhu ever had a chance at it. If my calculations are correct my alternate
should be get over his case of the muchies soon and set out looking for some more drugs.
Terra: (taken aback) That shouldn't be possible but then he is YOUR alternate. Fine,
what are you going to need?
Kanatash: (evil smile) That’s what I was waiting to hear...
---
Up on deck Hippie Kanatash and Cool Cthulhu are sitting on the deck near John. Hippie Kanatash has now taken the
form of blue, bath towel with arms, legs, and large bloodshot eyes. He has also taken to speaking in a high pitched
voice.
Hippie Kanatash: You wanna get high?
Cool Cthulhu : NO GAWDAMN IT! WE DON"T WANT TO GET HIGH KANATASH!
Hippie Kanatash: Towlie.
Cool Cthulhu : Fine, Towlie. No, we don't want to get high. That's all we've been doing for the last three weeks.
I mean I like getting high but enough is enough.
Towlie: Where, what?
Cool Cthulhu : That's it. I'm leaving.
Towlie: Where are we going?
Cool Cthulhu stands up and stalks off.
Towlie: (calling after him) Don't forget to bring a towel.
Without missing a step Cool Cthulhu , flips him off with several of his tentacles.
Towlie: Well, I'm gonna get a little high.
John: You know right about now I wish I had legs so I could walk off too.
Towlie: That's why Towlie says don't forget to bring a towel.
John: You're REALLY annoying, you know that?
Towlie: Yeah I think so.
John: You know, I'm not even going to try and understand what you ment by that.
Towlie: I've no idea what's going on.
John: :doh: Just shut up.
Towlie: Are we going to get high?
John: (developes an uncontrollable twich that causes the entire ship to shake)
Towlie: Well, I gotta go now. That's my last joint.
John: (begins silently thanking every god of every religeon he can think of and then creates a few new ones to
thank as well)
---
Meanwhile in Terra's lab...
Terra: Ok, here it is. (carrying an plant cover with iridescent marijuana leaves) This
is a big sacrifice on my part you know. Do you realize how long it took me reproduce my work after Cool Cthulhu
ate my first one.
Kanatash: Good, so this is the same stuff the turned Cool Cthulhu into a hippie? Then is should just be strong
enough. Just remember, it's this or everything
Volrath: (entering though the door) All right I planted the join outside next to door
and locked the door like you said. What I want to know is why put the joint outside and why lock the door if we
WANT him to come in and smoke that plant Terra is holding?
Kanatash: You don't understand how his mind works. I do, I've studied him in the wild. Watched him in his natural
habitat. Cataloged his behavioral tendencies. I know how he will react and what we have to do. Trust me.
Volrath: If you weren't my uncle I'd say that would be a REAL bad idea.
Kanatash: I'll take that as a compliment. Now we need to be out of sight before he shows up.
Terra, if you please?
Terra summons up her shadow powers and conceals the three of them in darkened corner.
---
Moments later Towlie arrives at the door to Terra's lab.
Towlie: (staring at the Keypad next to the door) I'm sure I can remember the code if I get high. (see's the joint
as his feet) Ok.
He then proceed to light up and smoke the joint before once again looking at the keypad. He begins pressing button
and as he presses them they make semi-musical tones. He continues at this for almost a minute before pausing.
Towlie: That's the tune to funky town. I still don't know the code though. Wait, what code? Oh well.
He floats though the door, seemingly without any resistance despite the numerous wards
Terra has placed on it, including making it impenetrable to incorporeal creatures. Once
inside he sees in front of him Terra's iridescent plant along with a razor blade and
several small pieces of paper.
Towlie: Well, I'm gonna get a little high.
He then proceeds to roll himself a joint and light up. Upon taking the first draw he suddenly seizes up as if
suddenly paralyzed. As he hits the floor he mumble something along the lines of, "I'm so high right now."
Kanatash, Terra, and Volrath burst from the shadows at the
same time.
Volrath: Is he dead?
Terra: (checking pulse) I'm afraid not.
She reaches for a long dagger and moves slit his throat but suddenly the ship lurches violently, tossing her across
the room.
Terra: What the :censored: was that!
Kanatash: Divine providence. He's still protected.
Terra: (indignantly) So what was the point of having him smoke that stuff! I thought it
would burn out his mind for good!
Kanatash: That stuff will burn through brain cells faster than Kelter goes through plots to seduce Jaela but he's
the ultimate hippie. By their definition they don't have enough gray matter left to actually be functional members
of society. Even that stuff only has the power to knock him out for a little while. There's no way to truly kill
him as he's still a hippie and he's not smart enough to change in any conventional manner. The whole point of this
was to immobilize him long enough for me to do THIS. (pulls out a staple gun looking device, puts it to Towlie’s
head, and pulls the trigger) There. Ok, we're all done here.
Volrath: That’s IT?! After all this set up that’s all you wanted to do to him?! Put
a staple in his head?!
Kanatash: (evil smile) That was no staple. It was a microchip that will cause death metal, the bane of all hippies,
to play continually inside his head.
Terra: Cruel, but how does it help us.
Kanatash: I theorize it should have an effect similar to what happened to the demon bound by the silver flame. When
continually faced with something that his nature cannot cope with he eventually mutate into something that can cope
with it.
---
Several days later. Towlie has been locked in an padded, observation chamber without any drugs. Kanatash,
Volrath, and Terra have all checked in on his progress
periodically. Through the days his form has slowly transformed changing to become more humanoid. On the third day
Volrath is seen rushing to Kanatash's side.
Volrath: (excitedly) Quick, you have to see this! I think he's finally snapped!
Kanatash: (giddy) What are we waiting for? I can't wait to see, just, how he broke.
The two of them arrive at the door of the cell. Terra is off preparing for the wedding
Kanatash: Open the door. Let's see just what has become of him.
Volrath yanks open the cell door and a figure steps forth. It resembles Kanatash
except it is dressed entirely in black clothing and has unnaturally pale skin.
Alt Kanatash: Life is nothing but pain and hopelessness.
Kanatash: (puts his hand together, Mr. Burns style) Eeeeexxxxcellent. The transformation is complete.
Volrath: So what, he's a goth now?
Kanatash: Kind of. More precisely he's a stereotypical goth. He's constantly depressed, sees everything as
hopeless, hates everthing but mostly himself, and tries to isolate himself from others. Let him out. He’s no
danger now to anyone but himself.
Volrath: Wait, since he’s not a hippie anymore doesn’t that mean he’s not protected by
divine providence anymore?
Kanatash: In a word, yes.
Volrath: So why don’t you just kill him.
Kanatash: Because letting him live is SO much crueler.
Volrath: I know that, but I’m not sure that even he deserves this.
Kanatash: Meh, since when have we given people what they deserve. Come on. We have some festivities to prepare
for.
Captain Jarlot: Alright, I'm going to be apparently performing the ceremony here.
Admiral Jarlot: Hold up son. I need to do this.
Captain Jarlot: Didn't the Doctor I recommended to you help deal with you?
Admiral Jarlot: Kervorkians a great guy! We played golf together and talked about the underclasses along with why
they sucked.
Captain Jarlot: I don't think they want a wedding performed by you.
Admiral Jarlot: Why not?
Captain Jarlot: First of all it's a wedding between two women.
Admiral Jarlot: Thus spaketh Dol Dorn that women loving women is pleasing to his eyes if unto hot be they
Captain Jarlot: Oh sweet....you memorized the Book of Dol Dorn?
Admiral Jarlot: As a Reverend of the one true god of alcohol, firearms, and tobacco. I proudly work my God's will.
Captain Jarlot: I hate the fact I'm rapidly becoming your straight man.
Admiral Jarlot: In any case, I can understand these new fangled female ideas if it means free food at the wedding.
Andrea: Jarlot, is this a day wedding? Our vampire guests are curious.
Admiral Jarlot: In the Kitchen NOW woman. Make me a sandwich.
Andrea: FIREBALL!
- Admiral Jarlot is singed horribly with third degree burns in many places*
Admiral Jarlot: See? This is the result of you not keeping them sexually satisfied. It's a Captain's duty to keep
the trollops on the ship properly pleased, otherwise of course they turn to each other.
Captain Jarlot: I keep my women plenty well satisfied.
Tifa: I still urge to have your baby despite my merging. Let us make hot mad love.
Admiral Jarlot: WELLLLLLLLLL?
Captain Jarlot: It IS possible for a man to not want to have sex with a woman while being perfectly heterosexual.
Admiral Jarlot: Dol Dorn spakes that sex has no face and it is glorious in all places.
Captain Jarlot: Oh great....
Aerith: It's okay. I'll join in.
Captain Jarlot: That's very sweet of you Aerith.
Aerith: Not really. Brianna loves sex with Tifa too. You're just an added bonus.
Captain Jarlot: I'm glad I sunk all my excess skill points in Book of Erotic Fantasy feats.
Aerith: I still say "Sexual Cohort: Solar Deva" is a broken game mechanic.
Admiral Jarlot: Put the spurs to her son. Reminds me of your mother, she was a beautiful Centaur lass....
Aerith and Tifa: :blink:
Captain Jarlot: And we're GONE....
Emo Kanatash: I like cutting myself.
Admiral Jarlot: By God son, finally a REAL man!
Emo Kanatash: You know there's nothing beyond death but oblivion and all life is a cruel joke man?
Admiral Jarlot: Then how would we have ressurection spells?
Emo Kanatash: :blink:
Admiral Jarlot: Here! Read this!
Emo Kanatash: ....Jack Chick cartoons?
Admiral Jarlot: Yes, they'll improve your lifestyle tremendously!
Emo Kanatash: *reads them* *brain brakes*
Admiral Jarlot: Feel any different?
Flamite Kanatash: Yes, I think there's been a little too much SINNING going on around on this ship!
Admiral Jarlot: That's the spirit. Use it to be biased, bigoted, and cruel in the name of a loving faith. Off you
go son.
Flamite Kanatash: GGRRRRRRRRRR
- Jarlot in his boxers*
Captain jarlot: They're getting warmed up. I just stepped out to say you're going to pay for that and he'll be dead
before this plot is over. Possibly at my hands.
Admiral Jarlot: Ah, like all Boomers he had a Soccer Dad in him somewhere. Now where's the buffet so I can yak in
it and smoke?
Terra has managed to capture Lisa and is currently trying to
figure out a way to snap her out of the shojo mode she's in.
Lisa: :weep: Oh, woe is me! Michael will never love me
because Sakura is so much prettier! WAAAAAAHHHH!!!!!! :weep:
Volrath: Can't you just smack her like you did me?
Terra: Though it might be the most expedient route, no. I'm not hitting my fiancee.
Volrath: Why not?! It didn't seem to bother you when you hit me! :mad:
Terra: You like that kind of thing and you know it. P/Y/R makes no effort to hide what
she does with you, just to bother me. I get ambient images when she's around.
Volrath: :eek: :blush: :ghosted:
Lisa: :weep: I can only hope for a prominant secondary role. It is only fair to Sakura,
as she is the center of the universe! :weep:
Terra: Still, I need to find a way to get through to her... :lightbulb
Lisa: How shall I eve-mmmph!
Terra has grabbed Lisa and initiated a majorly awesome french
kiss. For a moment, Lisa is a bit startled, but seems ok with it. Eventually, she returns
the kiss.
Terra: *breaking off* There. Better?
Lisa: *shakes her head to clear it* Whoa. I feel like I've just woken up from a bit part
in one of those B-movies Captain Jarlot makes us watch... *the events of the last few days sink in* What was that
all about?
Terra: Unfortunately, it's not over yet. I still have my part to play, and I don't think
you want to be involved with what I have to do. Though I do think Satnak's graduation
ceremony is still going on. You may have time to get in on open mike session.
Rixle - OHHHHH **** SHE'S GONNA KILL US!!!
Telfon - Not if we die in the crash.
Rixle - What crash?
Telfon - This one.
SKRAKRASH
Rixle - What happened?
Telfon - I was trying to speed things along and stole the space between us and the FF.
Rixle - Which you didn't mention beforehand, huh?
Levy - [SIZE=1]Both of you get into your dress robes.[/SIZE]
Rixle and Telfon dash to their bags and get changed.
Levy - The ceremony starts in 15 minutes.
Satnak - Well this is getting dull.
Sakura - You would think something would happen by now.
Satnak - I tell ya its criminal the lack of appreciation.
Sakura - How many Liquid keel haulings have you had tonight?
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