Introductions (The Band of Steel)
Revision as of 20:08, 7 March 2006 by Mechante Anemone (talk | contribs)
The following conversation was captured by surveillance microphones at the high-security facility where those would become the original members of The Band of Steel were held at the beginning of Issue 1.
DOCTOR STEEL:
- I am DOCTOR STEEL!
- Inventor. Entertainer.Visionary.
- Dr. Steel is a man of many talents with one, simple goal: To make this world a better place.
MADAME SHADE:
- I am Madame Shade, a Voodoo Bokor and practicioner of Mojo.
DOCTOR STEEL:
- Doctor Steel welcomes you to his team, but requests that you keep the drug-addled minion off camera during press conferences and public appearances, as he is not a proper role model for children.
WARCRY:
- I am Cihuacaotl, the reborn Avatar of the Aztec goddess whose scream signalled the start of wars. Until recent events, I had been engaged in a campaign to clear a mountain kingdom in Guatemala of all multinationals and exploiters, and install a utopia.
DOCTOR STEEL:
- Doctor Steel welcomes you to his team and looks forward to your assistance in helping him defeat child exploiting multinationals in Central America after we defeat the aliens.
CARNIVORE:
- WRRAAAOOWRRR!
DOCTOR STEEL:
- Doctor Steel will graciously allow you to preceed him in conflict situations!
MADAME SHADE:
- What do you think Joe is for?
CARNIVORE:
- I'll be happy to do the cooking, too.
WARCRY:
- Man, you are creeping me out!
BONEYARD:
- Boneyard am a dead ol' Rebel, dat's just what Boneyard am...
DOCTOR STEEL:
- Doctor Steel welcomes... um... welcomes you to his... ah... to his... (what is that SMELL?)
BONEYARD:
- Grrrrr.... NO AM SMELLY, STOOPID DOCTOR MAN - ME AM HATes.......
DOCTOR STEEL:
- Look! Look! Shiny object! Shiny! Want the shiny? Fetch! Fetch, zombie, fetch!
BONEYARD:
- OOOOooooooooooooooo, SHINY SHINY!!
- Wait... Wot?!?? ZOMBIE??!?!?
- WHERE!!!
- ME AM BONEYARD, ME AM HATE ZOMBIES!!!
- DAY SQUICH GOOD!!!
- Me am gonnna... uhh wait...
- GIMME SHINY!!!
- GIMME SHINY!!!!
DOCTOR STEEL:
- (Quick! Get those reporters OUT OF HERE!)
As Boneyard first looks menacing to the good Doctor, then turns shoulders hunched but still 7-8' tall as he breathes on the shiny rubbing it with his blue-grassy forarm... making it clean was the plan... Plans sometimes fail. And Boneyard is confused again...
CARNIVORE:
- What smell? It's a healthy musk.
DOCTOR STEEL:
- Doctor Steel welcomes you to his team and hopes that when all this is over you might consider an offer to join his operations full time. It is well known that children LOVE dinosaurs, and Doctor Steel sees a bright future for you. Can you sing?
- Alternately, if a media career is not among your interests, Doctor Steel sees other ways that you could help further the cause of children. Third World sweat shop owners and operaters taste very much like chicken, or so Doctor Steel is told.
NOISE:
- I'm "Noise"-- fun-loving anarchist that's a living amplifer. I generate loud volumes of raw noise and use it as a weapon. Hate authority. Love destroying stuff, especially fragile and expensive stuff (like computers and cars).
- Bringing it all down with nothing but sound, baby! Nothing but SOUND!
- Yeah, I used to be one of them-- clockpunching drones of the man, wasting away my life. But after I went to go see "Gratuitous Carnage" in concert, it all changed. I got some sort of dose of super sound in me and it's stayed — I AM the sound now, baby. The noise! That's me!
- Bringing it all down with the power of sound, man. Nothing but sound! Everyone hears me coming but nothing they can do. Can't stop the noise... just can't stop me. Wherever I go, I bring it down hard against the man. no clock punching for me. no wasting my life. No more man telling me what to do. Especially no damn fish man, damn straight. I bring the noise loud and hard on whoever gets in my way. It's my life now and nobody gonna push me around no more. That includes you too... you got me?
- Every since the concert, computers and machines don't like me much... but that's okay. I don't like them neither. it's mutual. Computers and cameras and cars — the more things you own, the more things own you. I heard that in a movie once. I liked it. It was a cool movie.
- So, You're Doctor Steel huh? I heard you make cool toys. That's way cool, man. Way cool.
