Forgotten Freedom:65

Last Plot -- Plot Line Home -- Next Plot

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Silver grabs the mic.

Silver: Per special request: Something happening!

Four really high CR monsters appear out of portals and then sing in a barbershop quartet about how they're going to kill everyone.

Crow: Never ask for something to happen around us.

---

Another portal opens, and from it hundreds of demons begin to pour. they're all running as fast as their demonic legs will carry them. and creaming things like

" Tactical retreat!", " Women and children first", "W'ere all gonna Die!" and " Run away! runaway!".

A blast of crackeling magical energy vaporises a group of demons as they leave the portal. another figure steps out. his usualy black armour dripping in blood. his eyes burn with the joy of slaughter. black flames cover his very form.

Sa'vor: Didnt miss anything did i? *portal Closes. See's high CR monsters* hmmm... I'll deal with them later. *flexes gauntleted hand* Im going demon hunting. * turns incopreal and drops through the floor*

---

Norbaz, in a white caterers outfit, stands before the spread for the reception, and gets ready to wheel out the gargantuan cake.

Norbaz: All right then, I do believe this is some of my best work. Haven't done a spread like this in a while. Now for a few finishing touches on the layout and it'll be perfect. Hey, where'd the champaign fountain go?

---

In Captain Jarlot's room.

Jarlot: Sweet, a champaign fountain, this'll help me forget about Tifa in this situation and focus on Aerith.

---

Erk is carting a new champaign fountain up to the party. He makes use of the lesser-useds' corridors to avoid any thefts this time. However, when he reaches the area that must be right under the stage he spots Satnak setting up what must be a very complex array of some kind. Erk's god life provides him just enough knowledge to deduce that it is a deific-energy projector, designed to pump up a being's power, but which would therefore render them brainless. It's aimed at the ceiling above. Yet this isn't the Satnak of this world: this one has obviously never had a deicide arm, nor is she tattooed.

Also, she's scantly clad.

Alt-Satnak (talking to herself): Soon, I will be the only Satnak left, and I will be ALL POWERFULL! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

Erk (i.h.): *Wow, Igor would be proud of her. Better not try anything: if she's that dumb her power level's probably broken the ceiling.* :looloo:

Alt-Satnak turns around.

Alt-Satnak: Oh, it's just you, Erk. Leave me alone.

Satnak is very busy.

Erk (i.h.): (anime sweat drop) *Luckily she thinks I'm still a dumb minotaur. Just got to back away slowly……don't think too loud in case she has—*

Alt-Satnak's ears twitch once.

Erk (i.h.): :help:

A blast of something familiar slams into him. He crashes through two walls before coming to rest in what must be Caralot's room. Alt-Satnak stides over to stand above him, mondo-villain styles.

Erk: Deific power……*wheeze, cough*……That must mean you're…And why Satnak is got so powerful so fast…

Alt-Satnak looks him over hungrily.

Alt-Satnak: Hmmm, I don't think I'll kill you. :drool: I have a much better idea.

---

"OBJECTION! The Satnak we know now cannot be the original Satnak brought here! My proof.. This recording!" Allen shouts, pointing dramatically at the air, his voice carrying all throughout the room.

He then plays the recording.

"I think they're done actualy but we still have the hardest part ahead since we still need to find somebody to weild it.

(Sa'avor) Yes that is a problem. He needs to be perfectly sane, willing, an exemplar of the mortal spirit, and have lost their left arm fighting for someone they love. Thats a tough bill to fit... By the deraged lords, I just had a brilliant thought. (telekinetically grabs two redshirts) You, go find Kithle and tell him I have found someone to wield his superweapon. You, go tell Kelter to come here and bring his helm of Absolute Opposition with him. (Kanatash)" The recording says.

"From this evidence, and the fact that the original Satnak brought here was turning into a raging mindless destructive machine, there is only one solution.. Somewhere along the line, our Satnak was switched with this one from another dimension!" Allen shouts, dramatic music now being played.

---

Beryl useing her ablity to see through the eyes of Red Shirts is Really ******!

Beryl: How dare that Solor B*tch Bring my old body back to Life! Chibi-Balor Put both of them on top of my arch-enemy list.

Chibi-Balor: Yes mistress

---

Two demons are talking to Liam. whos giving them an interview on the subject of Sa'vor.

Liam: so, whens the first time you met Mr.D'vol?

Demon 1: well, it was two days ago. he just appeared in the centre of our horde and well... the blood bath began.

Demon 2: yeah. i mean, we demons we're normally sadistic maniacs. but this guy. dear lord, some of the ways he killed so many of us will give me nightmares for all time. Like this one time, he grabbed our friend bob...

Demon 1: poor poor stupid bob.

Demon 2: and he ripped out his skull and used it to beat him to death.

Liam: he used bobs own skull to kill bob? that doesnt seem physicaly possible

Demon 2: i know, thats what bob was screaming the whole time... well... intil his head caved.

Demon 1: it was a blood bath. we didnt stand a chance. the whole time, even as blood was spraying in his face he was just laughing or smiling evily. he didnt even use his magic much. he just used his bare hands or even that accursed mindblade.

Liam: i see.... so, your saying he was slightly unbalanced at that time?

Demon 1: unbalanced? that mans psycotic. he's part demon and he kills his own kind!

Demon 2: yeah, but he's also part dragon, and a vampire, and an elf. and probably a few more templates added on to that.

Liam: thank you gentlemen. i've gathered enough notes now.

The demons leave the room, they here a slight creak from the floorboards. They turn to see nothing. they turn back around to see Sa'vor standing there.

Sa'vor: boo

The Demons scream and run. Sa'vor laughs and watches.

Sa'vor: 10, 9, 8, 7, 6 , 5 , 4 , 3 , 2 .. 1 ... 0

An explosion sounds from further down the ship. Sa'vor goes off to hunt more demons.

---

Volrath walks up to Terra

Volrath: It'll never work between you and Lisa.

Terra: What are you talking about? It has been working for a while.

Volrath: She still doesn't even know where the flowers come from. She is unaware of the depths of evil and deprevity you are willing to sink to. She hasn't met the real you.

Terra: Yes she has. I've told her everything about me and she has excepted everything.

Volrath: Lots of people can except things they've heard, all buttered up. Very few however could ever stand to actually see things like what you've done. You are too different, just like Aerith and Cool Cthulhu .

Terra: She is a Deva and he's a horrible creature from beyond the stars

Volrath: But he was nice and wouldn't hurt anyone. He's a monster on the outside. You are one within.

---

Satnak - I feel Loved again. :cloud9: Although Precisely how was I not a mindless destructive machine there for a bit?

Kithle gets up to the mic.

Kithle - You still owe me for smashing up my arm graft!!!

---

13 gets up to the mic.

13: I hate to say this, but I have to be honest: Satnak is one of the least terrifying people I have ever met. Yeah, sure, she'll blow you up. But where's the subtlety?

Satnak disintegrates him with a stare. Yet when the mic falls down next to the pile of ash it speaks.

13: Love me, babe. :inlove:

Silver (leaning over to Satnak): I think it's developed a crush on you.

---

Satnak - I'm not ino masochists.

Lisa - Yeah you have a thing for berzerkers.

Satnak - Oh hi, Terra get you bent back into shape?

Lisa -  :embarrass for now.

---

Volrath stumbles up to the mic. He has a dazed expression on his face. Everyone groans.

Volrath: *hic* Satnak has attempted to destroy more BBEGs and story arcs than I care to mention. Not to say that is a bad *hic* thing. We owe quite a lot to her. Most of the situations Sa'vor probably would have got us out of, but Satnak did so with far *hic* higher casualties on the enemy side. Without her *hic* we would have had far less carnage and chaos. Thank you for everything Satnak. *passes out*

---

The ash pile that was once 13 sidles up to Silver.

13: Psst!

Silver: I'm not helping you out on this.

13: No, that's not why I said it!

Silver: Well then why did you?

13: I want to join you.

Crow: Define "join".

13: Become an entity of non-existance.

Silver and Crow: :OMG!

13: No, seriously, I was considering it way back when I was filled with the screams of the tormented.

Crow: But you don't have that now.

13: And because of that I have no reason to exist. It was the only thing holding me together. This me only exists in a quasi-state because I still have a few things left to express before I go. I figure non-existance is better than any afterlife that I might have to go through.

Silver and Crow: OHYEAH!

13: So, that act was my job application. Do I have what it takes?

Crow: You deliberately ****** off Satnak……:thumbsup:

Silver: You expressed love that was obviously insane……:thumbsup:

13: :w00t:

---

Kanatash approaches the mic next. Most of the Redshirts and some of the scum in the audience begin to murmer and shift nervously.

redshirt 1: (whispering) You think he's going to try and drive us all crazy?

redshirt 2: (from a pedastal of experience having been on the ship a whole week longer than redshirt 1) Probably not. He doesn't want to tick of Satnack by ruining the ceremony like that. Of course that just means he won't do it on purpose, he might still do it by accident.

Kanatsh: (speaking above the whispers) As I'm sure most of you know I had a major role in the bringing of Satnak to this ship. I was one of the primary contributers to Kithle's project to construct the deicide arm and in fact it is highly unlikely that the project could have moved forward without one such as I who is capable of comprehending all the prefect madness of Xoriat. In fact much of this crew would be lost without my-

He is cut of suddenly by a sharp slap to his shins. He looks down to see Death Paper at his feet.

Terra: (calling out from the back of the room) MONOLOUGING!

Kanatash: Hmm, that anime **** must be affecting me more than I thought. Now I digress, let me return to the subject of Satnak. It was my use of Kelter's Helm of Absolute Opposition that origionally brought Satnak into this world - No Death Paper, that won't be neccessary, I have it under control now - Now I know there is a certain amount of controversy that has cropped up about whether the Satnak we are here to honor today is the original created from the helm or not. Personally I don't know for certain, but I had always assumed the helm acted to transport from her universe to ours rather than actually create her from scratch or perhaps the helm somehow brought her universe into being at the same time she was created. I don't know and don't care. However I must question how well the helm functioned in the first place considering the penchant Satnak has shown towards violence and mayhem so similar to that wreaked by yours truely. I suppose at this point I have rambled long enough so let me leave you with this final thought, that I want you to think long and hard over: [FONT=Franklin Gothic Medium][COLOR=DarkOliveGreen][SIZE=4]Calico Orangutan Nattier Goalies Racked Aberrant Telletubies Uuduvan Lollipops Apple Teacup Integer Oak Nationcide Seprioth.[/SIZE][/COLOR][/FONT] Thank you.

---

Levy - That was beautiful sniff...:weep: .

Satnak - Uh huh  :rolleye2:

Lisa - uuuuh... :confused:

---

Norbaz: Alright, food set up, gotta grab the mic before its off.

Deftly the half giant assassin cooky pulls off his caterers outfit to reveal a stately tuxedo beneath. Slowly he approaches the mic and begins an operatic ballad in Giant.

---

Silver: :confused: Are you doing that?

Crow: No. :raincloud

13: I haven't even learned how to reform myself.

---

Kanatash: Oh yes, by the way I have a little gift for you as well, Satnak. (hands her a small box) Don't worry, I swear by the deranged lords that I didn't actively try to make it drive you insane. I can't promise that I didn't do something accidentally however.

---

Levy - Nice kid.

Satnak - Eh, yeah a little loopy, but then nobody interesting was ever sane.

Kanatash - I resent being referred to as a kid.

Levy - Expose the core of a planet with a kick, and we'll talk.

---

Sa'vor, after cleaning himself up a bit appraoches Satnak with a box.

Sa'vor: well, bieng one of the people whom helped gather the ingredients for the deicide arm which ultimatly led to you being brought here.. i'd just like to congratulate you. you've truly exceeded any amount of chaos and destruction i could of wrought in a life time. also. i'd like to thank you, for all you've helped us through. without your help i'd most probably be dead, we'd all be dead. and now i present you with this gift. *hands her the box*

Satnak opens it, within is a perfect sapphire, about the size of her fist. it glows gently.

Sa'vor: *smiles* its an artifact i've been making. i havnt given it a name yet, though i was hopeing you would name it yourself. as long as its in your possession it will enhance all your atributes to three times their current levels. as well as expanding your abilties it can be used as a conduit for your powers. theres no need to worry about anyone stealing it either, its keyed to you alone. and if it is stolen from you, speak the command word and it'll return to your hands. oh, and the command word can be reset by you, though the current one is the elven word for soul.

Sa'vor turns and vanishes into the shadows once more...

---

Norbaz: I'd like to start out by saying, marriage is a beautiful thing. There is nothing better than when two people who love each other come together. *clears throat*

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH DAAARUUUUUUUUUUUU CON MUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUREEY CLAVU SO MAAAA TIIIIIIROOOOOONEEEEE

The half giant begins belting out an opera.

---

With a Poof Beryl appears and takes the Mic away from the half giant.

Beryl : Ok I'm just covering bases, I've never really had a problem with Satnak and I don't think she has a problem with me... in fact I think I've only really delt with her is a girls only poker games. And lest she pays up unlike some overly good person I shall not name...

Aerith : I'd pay up if you did want me to pay you in the souls of inoccent!

Beryl : Bah! Any speaking of overly good poeple, I think you have an Alt of Tifa to kill Satnak.

Satnak I tried when she showed up but the captain said I could not kill her as long as he is getting to use his Rod of Lordy Might!  :rolleyes:

Beryl : Well I have get back before Chibi-Balor is killed by that damn Pally and her flunkies

Poof out.

---

Terra and Lisa walk up to the mic.

Terra: Right, I figured I needed to say a few words. I'd like to start by saying THIS IS ALL SAKURA'S FA-mmmph!

Lisa has clamped her hand over Terra's mouth and taken the mic.

Lisa: Sorry about that. What she meant to say is that both of us greatly appreciate what Satnak has done, having saved both our lives more than once. We are very happy for her achievement, and hope to continue working with her in the future.

Terra has calmed down, Lisa returns the mic.

Terra: I'm really tired of that... Ok, like she said, congratulations to Satnak. Despite a rocky start, I am eternally grateful you're not my enemy.

(they raise their glasses)

Terra: Now, on to my long and tedious speech about how I'm so much prettier and more powerful than Sakura. Firs-mmmph!

Lisa has recovered Terra's mouth.

Lisa: Right, we'll be going now.

Drags her off stage.

---

Nalfein nervously walks up to the mic.

Nalfein: *ahem* (slightly whiny)...Satnak's mean to me! She hits me all the time!

Random Redshirt 1: YOU SUCK!

Nalfein: *glare of doom* FIREBALL OF VENGEANCE!

[SIZE=5]*MASSIVE FOCUSED EXPLOSION CENTERED ON NOW EX-REDSHIRT*[/SIZE]

Random Redshirt 2: (looking at smoldering ashes) There goes a stupid, stupid man...

---

Acanthi: Every one stops fighting NOW! We are all a family…

Chibi-Balor (is currently in Full Balor form using a table as a makeshift tower shield): I’m not… I’m just A Cleric of Beryl; Mistress I could use your Help?

Poof Beryl comes back from the party

Beryl: Stop Now! I have had enough…Damn I forgot to congratulate Terra and Lisa on there pending wedding.

P/Y/R: Ohh Can we throw them a party? I want to see Volrath jump out of a cake!

Beryl: Only if we hurry up with this little trip.

Assia: Lisa? Lisa Hopeforge… Red head Paladin of the Silver Flame?

Beryl: Yep, now I have to…

Assia: Tifa, please tell me where she is, I haven’t seen her since we shared that room in paladin training camp.

Beryl: Beryl now, she on the Air ship Forgotten Freedom.

Assia: Beryl why did you change your name to that… the Forgotten Freedom, but that a wretched Hive of villain and scum. Quickly To the MY ship the Hope Forge we must rescue the beloved princess

Myra & Tyla: Woo Quest Time!

Assia, Myra & Tyla rush out the house and off to ‘save’ the day.

Beryl: Well that got rid of them… I’d love to see what Terra face when they ‘save’ he though. Any way I’ll have to put off officially dropping from the house… and have to get going now…

Acanthi: Where we going? And why did you change your name to Beryl… I like Beryl better but why?

P/Y/R: You forgot about her didn’t you?

Beryl: yes… I changed my name because I changed my self. I am now Beryl Demonic Baroness of Red shirt, Alcohol and the Chaos that is the Forgotten Freedom in general! Any way we are going in to the depths of khyber to we can find a prision if one of the Rajah and drain it of its power!

Acanthi: Why?

P/Y/R: Because…

Acanthi: Ok, I’ll go get my stuff.

Chibi-Balor: You can’t really want her to come with.

Beryl: Yes, I can’t have her roaming around by her self… plus she may be so some use she has some sort of weird powers.

---

Levy - Ok guys time for the main event, Have the waiters finished passing out hardhats?

SC Commander - (from under a hardhat) Squeak

Levy - Satnak put the crystal in pile with the other gifts.

Satnak - Damn.

Levy - Rixle, Telfon!

Que the dramatic tension building music.

Rixle, and Telfon materialize at opposite ends of the deck and approach Satnak. Their formal robes are great fantastic affairs done all in black and white. Telfon is wearing battle-gauntlets, and holding something in his hands, but its covered.

When they reach Satnak, she stands. The music cuts off suddenly, deathpaper slipped out from under his hard hat and smacked Devon.

Telfon - I hold the mark of the Breaker Prime, Who can bear it with wrath, pride, and clarity?

Rixle - (pointing at Satnak) This one has battled dieties, primevals, and defeated even the great serpent in battle.

Telfon - What of Pride and clarity?

Rixle - She has never onced been ashamed of her nature, never once betrayed a friend, never once backed down from any fight.

Telfon - What of clarity?

Rixle - She has stood the test of self.

Telfon - Then Bear the Mark of the Destroyer, and let all tremble before your might.

Telfon raises his left hand and launches an open palm strike straight down on Satnak's brow. The shock to reality is felt the world over.

---

Krozan - What did those lunatics do now?

Boranel - No one invited me to the party :weep:

---

Rixle and Telfon withdraw, Satnak's fore head now bears a shattered planet Tatoo.

Levy - Well Satnak, its go time :cool:

Satnak - Lets Rock :cool:

Lisa - Whats going on?

Rixle - (grabbing hard hat) its sort of a tradition valedictorian vs their primary teacher's opposite. Satnak Trained breaker, so she fights the berzerker queen. One round, first blood.

---

Volrath is just waking up.

Volrath: Wow what was in that stuff?

His head clears up, to the point where he can hear again.

Rixle: ...to the first blood

Volrath: Yes the blood of either one would help greatly. :schemes:

Muridin runs over and smashes Volrath on the head full force with his hammer. Volrath head caves. Blood splatters everywhere. The blood rushes back together atop

Volrath's neck. It reforms into his head.

Volrath: What did you do that for?

Muridin: Terra say no plotting.

Volrath: but-

Muridin: No!

Volrath:  :bigeyes:

Muridin: No. :noway:

Volrath:  :weep:

---

Satnak - Clear the deck.

Everyone gets to a possibly survivable distance.

No time is wasted as soon as the stragglers are out of the way bamamboomfoomblamsmackcrash.The two are compltely immersed in the fight extremitites blurring to invisibility.

Levy - HHRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRR

Satnak - Bloody Mol she's gonna kill me. :eek:

Satnak manges to get out of the way before the punch lands but gets tripped up by a kick.

Satnak - Ooof I'm gonna feel that in the morning. Here comes the axe kick. *blink out*

Levy - I hate that shirt.

Satnak - *Blinks in above Levy.* Hah

Levy - Nice try. *flip*

Satnak - *blink out*

Levy - Huh?

A hand rises up from below deck and grabs Levy through the floor.

Levy - I really hate that shirt.

Satnak launches a swift barrage of Kicks and claw attacks.

Levy -  :eek: (i.h.h. She's melded claws to draw blood with a single strike. Smart.)

Levy sets a shield up. Satnak smashes it without even slowing down.

Levy - (i.h.h. mental facepalm, breaker prime you idiot)

Satnak - *feignts and lunges* got ya Levy

Levy - good job now about some oxygen

Satnak is holding Levy up by the neck.

Satnak - just a sec, *backhand*

The real Levy jumps back to avoid Satnak's attack.

Levy - I see your not gonna fall for that old trick.

Satnak - Well you did.

Satnak Vanishes as an acidic claw strikes through the wall at Levy.

Levy - Did I mention I hate that shirt. Screw this HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

Satnak - Run awaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyy !!!!

---

Terra - Ok I felt that something bad just happened.

Telfon - Yes.

Terra - Levy just entered her rage didn't she.

Rixle - Yep

Terra - Theres nothing to do, but start praying is there.

Lisa - Way ahead of you.

---

Satnak - Bloody mol mol mol mol mol mol!!! Run away!

Levy - Lets get a little altitude.

Levy rises to the sky and sends down a tempest of psionic attacks upon Satnak, and most of the surrounding countryside.

Satnak - *****HIT*****HIT*****HIT *blink out*

Levy - I really hate that bloody shir- oof

Satnak blinks in below Levy and kicks her stomach.

Satnak - Your getting slow.

Levy releases a barrage of tangling ectoplasm.

Satnak - I'm stuck,... well crap.

Levy ducks in close and launches a crystal storm.Satnak Manifests ORB HAMMER. The crystals are hurled back upon the stunned Levy, between surprise and the eefects of the orb hammer She doesn't have time to dodge completely. Several shards slice accros her skin and trail thin red lines.

---

Rixle - WTF!?

Telfon - Thats a new trick.

Micheal - She used us as gineau pigs!

---

Satnak - You gonna let me down now?

Levy - Nah

Levy floats back to the FF still holding Satnak upside down in the ectoplasm that managed to survive the orb hammer.

---

Just at Levy touches down with Satnak the entire ship suddenly rumbles ominously. The lights flicker overhead for a moment before taking on a reddish hue. The music fades in and out, being replaced by the laughter of children calling out for some one to play with them. The gathered crowd begins to glance around nervously as phantasmal horrors appear in their peripheral vision but disappear when they try to get a closer look. When inanimate objects are scrutinized carefully they seem to twitch slightly.

Jarlot: What the **** is going on!

Satnak: I don't know but when I find who's responsible for this I'm going to turn them into paste! How dare they do this during my party!

Levy: It feels like somebody is messing with the fabric of reality somehow.

Jarlot and Satnak glance at each other for a moment before responding together in a dry voice, "Kanatash."

Satnak: He should know better than to do this **** during my party. I'm going to knock his incorporeal *** back to Xoriat and beyond.Satnak breaks free of the last of the ectoplasm and stalks off the deck. The majority of those in attendance come out of hidding to follow her as well, not wanting to miss this beatdown.

---

After a few minutes of searching Satnak seems to pick up the trail and heads into the bowels of the ship with most of the crew behind her. As she walks the odd effects that began at the party grow stronger, the lights swing back in forth in an nonexistant breeze, and the quiet crying of children is almost deafening. A hum of power fills the air and seems to take on a life of its own. Finally Satnak stops in front of a seemingly normal wall, which is actually abnormal at the moment considering most of the ship seems to have twisted itself like a corkscrew and spins in circles while this one wall remains unchanged. Satnak reaches out and with primal growl rips the wall asunder, revealing the extradimensional space hidden behind it. The instant before she does this the ship shudders once more and everything returns to normal as if nothing had happened. Satnak glances at this change for a moment before plunging into the dimensional pocket. As the crew file through behind her a bizarre sight reveals itself to them, a massive ring of black fire, at least 50ft in diameter ungulates in the center of the room. The inside of this ring is filled with reddish smoke and give of the strong scent of brimstone and something more, something that seems familiar to every person pleasant although none of them can put their finger on it. Behind this smoke images can just barely be perceived, images of pastoral scenes of rolling hills. Floating in the center of the ring is, unsurprisingly, Kanatash.

Satnak: KANATASH! (grabbing him with telekinetic force to pull him down to her level) You screwed with my party and now you're going to pay for it, and pay for it dearly.

Kanatash: I apologize for disrupting you celebration, however I had little choice in the matter. You just happened to have the poor luck of graduating on the same day as the planar conjunction I had been waiting for and I was certainly not waiting 5000 years for the next one. (breaking free of the telekinetic force) Now excuse me, I need to finish what I came here to do.

Kanatash glances out among the gathered crowd before suddenly spotting the person he had been looking for, Caralot. He floats over and stops right in front of here.

Kantash: My dear, I have long prepared for this day. Behind me you see a portal I have created from Kelter’s portal to the non-existent plane of reality he calls “earth.” It stretches-

Kelter: (cutting in suddenly) Wait a second, you stole my portal! Now where am I supposed to get my erotic pictures from?!

Kanatash: If you’re that desperate you can borrow a few photo albums from Caralot and I.

Kelter: …nevermind. Shutting up now.

Kanatash: Excellent. Now as I was saying, this portal leads to a world filled with cute and cuddly creatures that posses a wide variety of supernatural powers. I have already brought forth one creature as an example. (reveals a small, yellow mouse-like creature)

Creature: Pika Pika.

Kelter: Dear. Sweet. Jaela. You didn’t.

Kanatash: (smiling) I did. (pushing the creature forward) Now go “play” with the nice artificer.

Kelter: Ooooh, ****ydoo.

The creature launches a blast of electricity at Kelter before leaping upon him. Ripping and tearing noises sound across the room with Kelter’s screams as Kanatash turns back to Caralot.

[SIZE=1]Kelter: NOT MY LEG! NOT MY LEG!!![/SIZE]

Kanatash: I give this portal to you as a gift to express my love and I but one thing which I want to ask of you.

He drops to one knee and pulls out a heavy gold ring with red letters in an odd dialect of elvish that flicker like flame.

Kanatash: Caralot, will you marry me?

Caralot: Kani-poo, I-

She is cut off as two figures flash into existence next to them. One is a towering figure in black armor wielding a huge mace, the other is a diminutive and degenerate creature with pasty skin and huge, staring eyes.

Small figure: (with a hacking cough) Gholem, Gholem, the precious! It has the precious!

The towering figure moves to strike Kanatash down and the small figure tries to grapple him as well. However Kanatash glances between them.

Kanatash: You, I have no use for. (disintegrates the smaller figure in midstride) You, I’ll have my fun with later. (paralyzes the taller figure and teleports him from the room) Now where were we?

Caralot: (embracing Kanatash) Oh, Sweetums, yes, yes I will.

A shudder runs down the spine of the gathered masses. Throughout all of this however Satnak stands off to one corner, seemingly forgotten, seething with rage. One can practically taste the gathering power as she prepares for a zorching of proportions never before seen on this ship or anywhere else. Before she can strike however she is interrupted by a voice off to her side.

Levy: It’s so romantic isn’t it?

Satnak glances over at Levy for a moment before she lets out a long exasperated sigh and releases the gathered power.

---

Ketler is running down the halls, screaming.

Ketler - get it off of me!

Fluffy - MeOW (giant mouse :D )

Fluffy leaps at the yellow rat.

rat - PiKA! ( thunder bolt )

Fluffy - MEEORRLLL (Flame thrower)

Rat - KACHUUUUUUUUUU (Thunder)

Miss

Fluffy - MEOOOOOW ( Tri-attack )

Critical hit

wild rat fainted

FLuffy - Meow (I'm so great :D )

---

Satnak - One red baseball cap and you die horrible deaths. Clear?

Kanatash - Understood.

Levy - Huh?

Ketler - Insider joke, she reads as much of this stuff as I do.

Levy - Well Back to the party its time for cake, and opening gifts.

Crew - !!! Cake?!!! Whoosh

Rixle - We're screwed

Telfon - Yeeeaaaa... maybe not

Midshipbold 1 - We got you covered.

Midshipbold 2 - No way she wont like it.

Midshipbold 3 - In exchange you have dig chalky and the others out of the wreck in the port hull.

Rixle - Groan, and give me back my boots Telfon. I swear your obsessed.

---

Satnak - Le'see the gem is from Sa'vor, there's the box from Kanatash, It better be good after that stunt ghost boy, an envelope from Rixle, Telfon, and the others who went on that little pirate adventure. Plus this stack of stuff thats all conviently placed so i Can't see the tags yet. OOH Cake.

---

Volrath: Oh how sweet.

Kithle: Doesn't it seem like a lot of people are getting tied htiched.

Volrath: Only four.

Kithle: I guess

Volrath: This also means we get to have a mythos wedding. All of my training as grand acolyte of the Crawling Chaos and my travels as a cleric of Ted have finally paid off. :evillaugh

Kithle: You're a cleric?

Volrath: I don't recieve spells, but I'm still qualified to lead the faithful in worship.

Kithle: Knowing Ted that doesn't really involve much. Does it?

Volrath: No, mostly just showing some of his finest works. Although my dad's cult does have some pretty complicated rituals.

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